How to Overcome Failure and Reboot for Success

Failure. It happens to the best of us. Often after failing to achieve something important many people choose to give up on their heartfelt dreams and goals, shut down emotionally, and refuse to try again.

But if you want to overcome failure and reboot yourself for ultimate success, you must get up and try again. An ancient Chinese proverb says, “Failing is not falling down, but refusing to get back up.”

Here are three useful tips on how you can overcome failure in your life:

1. Take responsibility for your part in the situation.

This means that blame has got to go. Blame often occurs in two ways, by either blaming others for your plight, or blaming outside circumstance. Here are two examples of what I mean.
In a recent personal coaching session my client, who we shall call “Ted”, blamed his DUI arrest on a “beligerant cop”. I helped Ted realize the following truth; that drinking while under the influence was illegal and obviously dangerous to himself and others, and that he was the one who made the choice to get drunk and then to drive, not the “beligerant cop”.

In another session, a woman I shall call Helen, blamed her business failure on the economy. “Its all the economy’s fault that my business failed,” she told me. I explained to Helen that the economy really had nothing to do with her business failing since many businesses similar to hers were flourishing in the supposed economic down turn. As Helen I discussed the subject deeper she admitted that she did not efficiently make use of her time, nor her resources when managing her company.

Once both Ted and Helen realized that blame was not going to help them to overcome their failures and start again, they took responsibility for their part in the situation and were ready to move forward towards a successful resolution.

2. Realize that there are no failures in life, only opportunities.

This was great advice given to me by my Dad when I was 14 years old and lost terribly in a karate tournament. Get into the habit of asking yourself the following two questions: what is the opportunity in this situation? And, what can I learn from this situation?

3. Get up, brush yourself off, and try again.

In order to get back onto the fast track of success you must get back up and try again. Success is a step-by-step venture which is activated by action. No action, no forward progress - plain and simple. Action creates movement, and that momentum eventually equates to victory!

A wise sage once said, “Every time you fail, you move one step closer to succeeding. Embrace failure as part of success and get going.” Turn your failures into success by applying these tips when ever you miss achieving your goal, and more importantly make them a habit. Look at the situation for what it is, learn from it, and try again.

Read More

A Woman's Guide to Jump Starting Your Self Confidence

I love the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Actually grasping this concept alone will be your most valuable asset on your journey to confidence, and remember - jump starting your self confidence is a journey not a destination.

Women in modern society face greater challenges especially in the corporate work environment. Therefore confidence is key when it comes to success and reaching your goals. Also, you will find that if you build confidence in one area of your life suddenly you begin to become more confident in other areas.

When developing confidence, the one thing that is important to remember is that you weren't born confident. We have all had life experiences when we felt less than enough, pushed down, and/or have gone through some amazingly difficult circumstances that have ultimately shaped and influenced our confidence levels.

So what does this mean?  Confidence is a learned trait; which means that you are going to have to make a deliberate effort to develop it, but it will be well worth it.

Here are some great tips on how to increase your confidence:

1. Set goals you know you can reach. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day.

2. Allow yourself to fail without it depleting your value and self worth. First of all, take the approach that we learn from our mistakes. Some of my best education has come for the school of hard knocks. I recently read a statistic that said the best baseball player hits around .350 - which means he misses 65 percent of the time.

3. Acknowledge yourself. Focusing on your positive qualities. Remember no one is perfect even if they think they are! In doing this it will be important to tune out the mindless head chatter. We are often our own worst enemy when it comes to squashing our self confidence.

4. Acknowledge qualities you would like to improve. Remember, like in all the "group therapy" meetings we hear about the first step is to acknowledge the problem.

5. Once problems areas are identified, seek assistance in resolving them. Don't go at this alone. I think so many people are ashamed to get help that they suffer in silence. I would much rather drop my pride and get help and live a fruitful life than to attempt to fake it. Remember, faking self confidence won't last. If you are anxious about seeking help, do so with someone that doesn't know you personally and ensures your privacy. If you need professional assistance but finances are an issue, many church organizations or organizations on the internet offer assistance for free.

6. Celebrate your successes. Yes, we all have them. Focus on your talents and give yourself permission to be proud of yourself. Remember the inferiority quote, "no one makes you feel inferior without your permission"?

7. Be thankful and be positive. I've heard it said that a lack of self confidence can be due to a feeling of not having enough of something. Things will come and go in our lives, so who we are cannot be based on what we have materially. Being thankful and recognizing what you do have will help to fight the feeling of insecurity and inadequacy, but try to focus on non-material things such as relationships, health, your humor or wisdom, or your ability to remain calm under crazy circumstances. Also, avoid self-pity. Again I say, remember the quote, "no one makes you feel inferior without your permission"!

8. Get a hobby that is enjoyable to you and allows you to express yourself. Things such as music, art, writing, or even volunteering are great examples. It doesn't have to be something you think you will be good at. Let it be something that is purely for enjoyment and you'll be amazed at how good at it you actually are!

9. Stick with your principles. By maintaining an identity that is consistent you will find that people will become more respectful of you, increasing your confidence. When ever you waver back and forth on issues it gives people the sense you are wishy-washy and perhaps not as trustworthy. This can strain relationships making your confidence level decrease.

10. Also, it should go without saying but stick up for yourself! I once heard someone say that you have to teach people how to treat you. If you let them put you down many will. Don't let them decrease your confidence even in a joking manner.

11. Smile - even if you don't feel like it. Many of you know that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile so go ahead and smile. Besides, studies have shown that an expression on your face can actually persuade your brain to register that emotion. Think: I am gorgeous! Then look in the mirror and smile.

12. Of course everyone’s favorite - get plenty of sleep, eat well, exercise regularly, and stop stressing. I put these all together because they seem to end up together in most self-help mantras these days. And as many of you can relate they are easier said then done. Remember the first thing - set attainable goals? That is a must for this action item.

13. Try to spend time surrounded by people that lift you up. There is a belief that you become like those you send your time with. If you are constantly hanging around negative people then you are likely to become the same. I was once encouraged to take a cell phone challenge and delete everyone from my phone that was negative or created feelings of negatively in me when we spoke. This is a bit extreme for some of you but has been known to work. Also, know that surrounding yourself with positive people will likely lead to compliments, something many of us aren't comfortable accepting due to low confidence levels. Accept them and don't make excuses as to why their compliment isn't really correct!

14. Take action! You would be surprised how powerful this one strategy is. By setting attainable goals and taking baby steps, taking action can be easy. The awesome thing is it tends to have a snowball effect.

Now you are on your way to building your confidence level.  Remember, self confidence won't happen overnight so be patient with yourself. A confident woman is a sexy woman.  The more you practice these techniques, the easier it is to maintain the confidence once established. And the more confident you become, the more successful, capable, charismatic, and prosperous you will be. 

Read More

Success Is On Purpose!

You are always living. This may seem obvious, but the truth is that many people seem to go through most of their life on autopilot. Sure they have hopes and dreams, they have ideas and plans, yet few actually achieve them because they fail to recognize that success is on purpose.

With every second that passes you lose valuable time given to you to accomplish and experience various things that have the ability to increase success, prosperity, and joy in life.

Think about this for a moment. There are many people the world over that can not afford to sit in front of a computer and read articles like this to compel them to live life on purpose. This is because they have only one clear purpose - and that is survival. They are not dreaming of success, riches or retirement. They are hoping to survive one more day.

This is not a guilt trip, but hard reality. You and I are extremely blessed to be living in North America or some other developed nation where opportunities to successfully create the life of your dreams abound. But to whom much is given, much is expected. It is therefore your duty to succeed despite the challenges you have faced. Challenges after all are just that, they are by no means an excuse.

My best friend's Grandfather grew up in a third world country, and she still has many relatives who would be thrilled to be offered the chance to live in North America. They do what they can to get by, feed their families, raise their kids not unlike us over here, but they have very little to aspire in the way of opportunity.

In North America, you can aspire to the heights of society, finance, status, fame, etc and with focused attention and action you can achieve it in your lifetime. There is nothing you cannot do when you combine focused attention, action, and clear resolve.

I feel a heartfelt responsibility to make the most of my life. What about you? What would a successful life look like to you? Try exploring your dreams beyond that of merely riches and fame.

John Maxwell says "Success is knowing your purpose, growing to reach your maximum potential and sowing seeds that benefit others."

My definition of success is to actively close the gap between who you are now and who Source purposed you to be. So the big question then is this - "What is your purpose?"

Here are four foundational principles on purpose that apply to any created or invented things or being for you to consider:

1. Everything is life has a purpose

2. Not every purpose is known

3. If you don’t know the purpose of a thing, you will abuse it. (E.g. a surgeon's scalpel can be used to save or take a life.)

4. If you want to know the purpose of a thing, never ask the things.

The purpose of a thing is only found in the mind of the maker of that thing.

Only the original manufacturer of a car can know the full purpose of the car and each of its components. Only they know the potential and can give correct directions of use. Everyone else is guessing. You won't find a Ford Manual in a Toyota Car, neither could you get one to fix the others product. (Without voiding the warranty and performance guarantee!)

So what am I trying to get at here?  Here is what I am trying to get across in a nutshell: the fact that you exist implies that there was a purpose behind your creation.

You are not an accident (no matter how you were conceived) and your success in life is determined, not by how much you make or spend, or what other people may tell you that success is supposed to be and look like. Your success in this life is determined by whether you have fulfilled your purpose, and every second that goes by ought to be spent in the pursuit of that purpose.

In fact succeeding is not so much about achieving, but enjoying the journey towards what we were born to do. Challenge yourself to live a life of purpose. Seek out that purpose. Only your Maker can reveal that. Don't let people put you in a box! Always live your life on purpose and you will find not only success, but discover a life that is joyful, prosperous, and overflowing with abundance.

Read More

Meditation: How to Tame the Monkey of Your Mind

In Zen meditation, "Monkey Mind" is a term used to describe the experience of thoughts as they jump to and fro, like a monkey swinging from branch to branch in a tree.

In meditation practice, especially when you are first starting out, your mind has the tendency to jump from thought to thought, analyzing this and that, worrying about what will happen, replaying who said what and how you reacted, etc.

The first time I heard the expression, "monkey mind," in regard to meditation, I laughed to myself. As a child, my favorite thing to do at the zoo was to watch the antics of the monkeys. I could watch them play, and be entertained for hours and never get bored. I enjoyed watching as they engaged in one activity to another, allowing themselves to be highly stimulated by the environment around them.

One of the mind's favorite occupations is to play and be entertained with random thought. Modern psychology calls this sort of mind activity concept looping, in which the thoughts loop around from mental concept to mental concept without ceasing.

Meditation is a very effective way to tame the endless chatter and activity of the monkey mind. So what are some ways that you can tame the monkey of your mind so that you can fully enjoy the benefits of meditation?

1. Notice the thought without attaching to it. Taming monkey of your mind is simply the act of noticing a thought without attaching to it. When you are 'attached' to a thought it means that you make it personal, adding your own spin on it with your feelings, beliefs, and concepts. The ego mind loves to do this as much as a monkey loves to eat bananas!

2. After observing the thought let it go. Taming the monkey of your mind is the practice of observing a new thought without letting it take hold of you, as well as the habit of choosing to release a thought and to let it go, instead of letting the ego mind run with it.

When I first began meditation I found this a bit difficult to do because my mind was used to having its own way with me. When I began to consciously control my mind, my mind rebelled. But with continued practice I realized that I was not my mind, and that I could choose to not act or react on every thought that just popped into my head. This realization empowered me, and I slowly began to be able let the chatter of the mind cease, and to experience the deep inner peace that comes with a regular practice of meditation.

Meditation allows you to harness the power of the mind, center it, and focus on one subject at a time. If you take the time for a daily meditation practice, your decision making process will be much more controlled and clear. The end result will be to look at the monkey in your with much more compassion, respect, appreciation, and a bit of humor.

Read More

Action! The Lost Secret to the Law of Attraction

Action is often the missing key in the Law of Attraction. There is a big difference between thought and action. Says Wallace Wattles, “Thought is the creative power, or the impelling force which causes the creative power to act . . . but you must not rely upon thought alone paying no attention to personal action.”

This is where many people get stuck in trying to apply the formula of the Law of Attraction in life. I love the following wise saying about action, ‘A rocking chair rocks back and forth but goes nowhere.’

The same theory applies in the Law of Attraction. You can say all the affirmations you want, and you can have absolute faith that you are going to achieve everything that’s on your vision board, but unless you take some measurable actions steps you are not going to achieve anything because there is no attraction without action.

Perhaps like me you were taught the old model of the Law of Attraction that stated: ASK – BELIEVE – RECEIVE.

The new model is this: ASK – BELIEVE - ACT- RECEIVE.

How then do you know if you are taking efficient action towards your goals and dreams? Here is some wise advise from personal development great Anthony Robbins:

“The truth of the matter is that there's nothing you can't accomplish if:
(1) You clearly decide what it is that you're absolutely committed to achieving,
(2) You're willing to take massive action, (3) You notice what's working or not, and (4) You continue to change your approach until you achieve what you want, using whatever life gives you along the way." ~ Anthony Robbins

There is no attraction without action. Take action on your goals and dreams today so that you can reap in the rich rewards of an abundant and prosperous life.

 ##

If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources.  Like us on Facebook!

Read More

How to Master Your Time with These 3 Simple Steps

Time management is one of the least mastered and most desired skills in our fast-paced modern world. To be successful at life, to have, and be everything that you desire, learning the art of time management crucial.

What can you do to double your time management skills?  Here are 3 things you can begin to do starting today:

1.  Eliminate time wasters in your life. Time wasters are things that interrupt you and you spend time doing, but you wouldn't have chosen to do them given the choice. Eliminating these time wasters is critical for time management:

Email---If you are spending more than 30 minutes per day on email (unless that is your business) you are spending too much!

Telephone---If you answer the phone live more than 5 times per day during your productive time (work, work at home, etc.) you are sacrificing time management and efficiency. When you answer the phone, you interrupt your current productive flow and this kills your productivity.

Television---This must be limited for you to achieve ultimate control over your time. My recommendation is 30 minutes per day, especially if you are not getting all the things done you need or want to.

2.  Make a list of what is genuinely important in your life and just start doing the things on your list.  One of the keys to time management is prioritization---you absolutely must know what you want to accomplish and then go do it. Today's world has too many distractions and when you allow those distractions to become priority, you sacrifice time management. Follow these steps:

Make of list of what you want to accomplish

Set time frames for accomplishing each item

Organize each item in order of importance

Create a game plan for achieving each of your goals in its respective time frame

3.  Begin to focus on time management throughout the course of the day. Your consistent focus must be on managing your time. Once you have determined your goals and your priorities, start focusing on simply getting those things done. If something isn't on your goals list for this week - don't do it until all your goals are done. When you prioritize every interruption that occurs and put your goals last, you will not accomplish your goals. Instead, you will be a slave (as you probably are now) to interruptions and probably feel like you never accomplish enough.

Learning the skill of time management is truly is critical to becoming successful, doing everything you want to, and achieving ultimate success. Begin to apply one or more of these steps into our daily management program starting today and enjoy the benefits of having more time play at life!

 ##

If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources.  Like us on Facebook!

Read More

Create A Positive Mindset Through Meditation

You have the ability to create your own dominant mental programming. A positive mindset is a powerful mindset. It is the ability to consciously change your environment, economic status, circle of friends, and attitude. and it is completely under your control.

Your mind absorbs and siphons raw data just like a computer. Within your mind exists a unique civilization unto itself consisting of all your beliefs and attitudes which decide how you are going to show up in the world. Many people feel like they have no control of their own mind, because this inner society of the mind has become negative. This negativity is a result of perceived past experiences, being in a less than harmonious home, work, economic, or social, negative environment, or being under the influence of nonconstructive ideas.

Similar to a computer virus, you need to learn to identify negative thought patterns quickly, to avoid letting them spread throughout your mind by saturating your thoughts. You can also pass this virus of negative thinking and energy onto people around you, like "weeds in a field."

Much like a farmer, you cultivate too. The energy in your mind is the crop, and it is up to you, whether you sow weeds or wheat. If you have a farm and let a field take care of itself by default; you will be lucky if you are able to reap any kind of a crop from it at all.

This is the same with the energy within your mind.

You have to option to pick quality seeds to sow into your mind in the form of inspiring and motivating, books, eBooks, DVD's, audio programs from CD's and mp3's, lectures, courses, workshops, and seminars. Continued personal and spiritual development results into only in a positive mindset, but also in a positive outlook on life.

One thing you must remember, however, is that your work is not finished with just one book, or personal development workshop, because you must still reinforce the lessons. This comes from repeated listening, learning, and applying what you learn. Repetition is the mother of skill. This might be compared to fertilizing, watering, and "weeding the mind." You need to work at it continually or the weeds will take root and grow back.

This is where meditation can come into play. The practice of meditation teaches you controlled focus on an object, thought, or task without judgment. This process makes it possible to look at all situations objectively to immediately take stock of the fertile soil of the mind.

With meditation you can find solutions, turn negative situations into positive and productive learning experiences, and create your own positive mindset. As a result of you will not only develop an indomitable spirit, but also make new friends, reach your goals quicker, and handle problems more easily.

 ##

If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources.  Like us on Facebook!

Read More