Personal Magnetism: How to Make Yourself Memorable

Have you ever had the experience of meeting someone for the first time and being totally being captivated by their personal magnetism and excitement for life?  These types of people create an instant good impression on you and as a result become memorable.

Being a memorable person means be an unforgettable person.  And it doesn’t take a genius to recognize the advantage of developing an extraordinary pleasing persona in relation to your business and career, as well as with your everyday personal relationships.
 
The wonderful thing is that is that you can hack the learning curve in developing your personal magnetism and charisma by applying a few overlooked strategies in your everyday personal interactions with everyone you come into contact with. 

Cesar Pavese once said said, “We do not remember days, we remember moments.”

How then can you become the type of person that creates memorable moments; a person who is compelling and charismatic?  Here a few useful and effective ways to get you started:

Live with passion!  A memorable person enjoys life and living, and shares that passion in everything he or she does, or says. Their body language, words, and expressions are those of enthusiasm and joy, and that zeal radiates out to everyone they come into contact with. 

This type of fervor is contagious, and shifts people’s emotional state to one of positive receptivity.  Modern psychology teaches that the most effective form of influence is learning how to shift and control a person’s emotional state.  The easiest way to do this is to make sure that you lead first with the positive and uplifting emotional state that you would like others to respond to.

Be a great listener.  Being a great listener means genuinely becoming interested in other people.  Years ago, when I was a young attorney attempting to procure clients I did what most newbie business men and women do – I read books and attended courses that would help me to increase my bottom line.  One of the books I read was the classic by Dale Carnegie, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”  One of the chapters shares this important point of becoming sincerely interested in people. Carnegie states that one of the first ways to do this is by learning to be a great listener. 
I decided to put this insightful tip to the test one night as I met a potential client for dinner.  This client was dubbed ‘the geezer grouch’ by some of my colleagues who were unsuccessful in acquiring his business. 

Usually I was the one who led and controlled the conversation, but on this particular night I decided to just listen and ask questions. The results I had were absolutely shocking. 

My potential client, an older gentleman, was a successful business manufacturer who owned several manufacturing plants throughout the country.  I began our dinner by asking him a simple question – ‘how did you get interested in your type of work?’ 

Three hours seemed to vanish as this gentleman shared with me a fascinating rag to riches story, gave me some valuable tips on business success, shared with me the titles of some great self-improvement books, and in the end not only did this gentleman become one of my regular clients, but also sent to me several lucrative referrals.  At the end of our dinner he shook my hand and told me, ‘you know you are a great conversationalist’ – yet all I had done throughout our entire meal was to listen and ask him questions!

Share your adventures with others, tell a great story.  People have been telling and listening to stories since the dawn of time. And people love to hear stories that encourage, inspire, and motivate them.  Everyone remembers a great story.

When you share your stories with other people you become memorable because stories keep people engaged in the moment by moment drama.  Professional speaker Patricia Fripp says, “Stories are the creative conversion of life itself, into a more powerful, clearer, more meaningful experience.”  Great stories move, entertain, instruct, and inspire people to increase the quality of their lives.

I have a journal and I enjoy recording things that I encountered during the day that were funny, motivating, inspiring, encouraging, or that have emotionally moved me in some way.  These experiences are either personally observed or personally experienced; but they always have a positive outcome. 
Share your great life stories with others. But here is one caveat, people want to hear stories about the fabulous, and if you want to be memorable and to influence others you need to omit stories of failure unless they have a positive outcome.

Being a memorable person means being an influential person.  Groom your personal magnetism and charisma daily by applying these effective strategies in your interpersonal relationships until they become a habit.  You will not only find your sphere of influence increasing each day, but also find that your life is more interesting, personally enriched, and financially prosperous as well.

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Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People

One of the many reasons why people lose confidence and power in dealing with people is because they are too overly concerned with what other people think. They feel they won't be liked if they said what was on their mind. What they are really saying is that they are trying to avoid conflict, when the conflict is the exact learning experience they need to provide the growth, knowledge and confidence for dealing with people in the first place.

Conflict management or managing the conflict of ideas and thoughts between two or more people can be an incredible learning experience for everyone involved, so much information is revealed in these intense periods that if we can learn to keep our integrity in tack during these short bursts of emotion, common ground can be quickly found.

However, if your confidence and power in dealing with people is somewhat watery at best, here are three tips to clarify your thinking and get you back on track.

1. What Do You Want Confidence And Power For?

We interact with different people on a daily basis, we need cooperation from these people because we know we cannot do it alone, we expect a certain amount of reciprocal behavior to get to where we want to be, so it would be beneficial to know what our motives are for persuading people over to our way of thinking?

2. What Is Your Attitude Towards Conflict?

True self-confidence is developed from the act of carrying out a successful task that has an element of personal risk or challenge. Confidence is also about disagreeing or saying no without feeling guilty in situations where we have strong opinions, to stand up for oneself so to speak. So if someone violates your space in some way, do you take the courage or confidence to take responsibility for the situation and speak up or do you just ‘let it go’…again?

3. Preparation Is The Key

One of the key secrets to real confident behavior is preparation, look at the words you are habitually using and prepare your speech in advance. Learn to be speak with authority, maybe even take a few singing lessons to develop vocal power. Develop a mental picture of your successful self, speaking confidently with the desired outcome.

Dealing with people effectively is a skill that can be learned and developed over time, at some point, you will have to get started, you will have go up to someone and say your piece, even if you stand their dumb struck and your face turns crimson with embarrassment, the first step has to be taken. If you feel nervous or shaky about doing this, you need to feel the fear and do it anyway, if its on your mind, the time will come when you will have to act, go in, do it with the expectation you are going to get it all wrong, but it is never as bad as you think it is going to be. One thing is for sure, conflict is a learning experience, you will learn more about confidence in one session than a lifetime of reading books or articles on the subject.

Remember, confidence is an attitude, a skill set that is learned and developed through application, a state of mind that can be achieved through deliberate consistent actions. You might be naturally shy or quiet and think real confidence is beyond you, but personal confidence can be one of your greatest assets. Learn to believe in yourself and your abilities, it is not easy, you will only gain power and the mental toughness needed through struggle, there is no short cut. You will only learn and grow through the challenge of getting started.

Make no mistake, to act with deliberate intention and say what needs to be said will require consistent effort on your part, you must rehearse what needs to be said, like a musician performing a great song, they had to rehearse once upon a time. Great speeches or monologues are not 'winged,' there is always great preparation that is goes unseen, which can give you the misconception of 'they were born that way', when this is in fact, far from the truth.

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Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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Become a Super Hero of Life!

Last week I had the opportunity to watch the motion picture The Green Lantern. The movie portrayed a regular human being who overcame not only insurmountable challenges, but also his fears and biases. This ultimately caused him to become a super hero equipped with superhuman powers from a sacred ring to overcome evil.

As I left the movie and walked through the parking lot to my car I saw a man wearing a black t-shirt with with the words "Super Hero Dad" written on it in blazing white ink. It got me thinking about all the people in my own life who reached the status of hero or heroine to me.

This caused me to wonder what characteristics and attitudes each of these people had in common. More importantly, I began to wonder how I could apply these characteristics into my life as well to become a super hero of life.

You don't need a sacred ring to become a super hero of life. Here are three super hero traits you can begin to apply in your life starting today.

Courage. Super hero's are a master at facing and overcoming challenges. Many people out of fear back away from challenge. Fear is a natural emotion when facing new unknown situations in life. It occurs most often when you step outside our comfort zone and face what may come with strong resolve. The sage advice is to feel that fear and move forward anyway. If you want to achieve great things in life, and to be a super hero to yourself and others, you must realize that if you want effective results there will come a time when you must face your deepest fears and reach outside your current fears and biases. Dont ignore your fears, take them for what they are - imagined probablities of what you think may occur. Be brave. Face your fears, and confidently move forward towards what it is you want or must do.

Optimism. Think in term of the positives. Super heros always have a positive outlook on their life and life circumstances. They realize that they have a 50/50 chance of being negative or positive and choose the latter. Train yourself to be optimistic in all areas of your life. Speak and act positively, and hang around with optimistic people. Listen and read positive uplifiting CD's and books. Attend life enriching seminars and workshops Your attitude gages what action you will take in life.

Self-determination. Self-determination means to take responsibility for the course of your life. Super heros take responsibility for not only their actions and attitudes, but also in creating the life of their dreams. They know exactly where they will be in 5, 10, 15, and 20 years from now. Take control of your life by taking the time to get clear about what you want out of life and make a plan of action to make it happen. Dont let real or perceived limitations keep you from achieving your best in life.

There is a super hero inside of all of us just waiting to get out. Sometimes, it takes an unexpected event to help you to bring that hero out. And sometimes, other people through a loving and patient attitude help you to see that hero in yourself.

You deserve to become a super hero of life! Take some time to develop the inner qualities of a super hero. Be courageous, be positive, and talk control of the reigns of your life so you can soar upwards and onwards towards new heights of success achievement starting today.

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If you would like some additional information on self improvement and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources.

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