How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People

One of the many reasons why people lose confidence and power in dealing with people is because they are too overly concerned with what other people think. They feel they won't be liked if they said what was on their mind. What they are really saying is that they are trying to avoid conflict, when the conflict is the exact learning experience they need to provide the growth, knowledge and confidence for dealing with people in the first place.

Conflict management or managing the conflict of ideas and thoughts between two or more people can be an incredible learning experience for everyone involved, so much information is revealed in these intense periods that if we can learn to keep our integrity in tack during these short bursts of emotion, common ground can be quickly found.

However, if your confidence and power in dealing with people is somewhat watery at best, here are three tips to clarify your thinking and get you back on track.

1. What Do You Want Confidence And Power For?

We interact with different people on a daily basis, we need cooperation from these people because we know we cannot do it alone, we expect a certain amount of reciprocal behavior to get to where we want to be, so it would be beneficial to know what our motives are for persuading people over to our way of thinking?

2. What Is Your Attitude Towards Conflict?

True self-confidence is developed from the act of carrying out a successful task that has an element of personal risk or challenge. Confidence is also about disagreeing or saying no without feeling guilty in situations where we have strong opinions, to stand up for oneself so to speak. So if someone violates your space in some way, do you take the courage or confidence to take responsibility for the situation and speak up or do you just ‘let it go’…again?

3. Preparation Is The Key

One of the key secrets to real confident behavior is preparation, look at the words you are habitually using and prepare your speech in advance. Learn to be speak with authority, maybe even take a few singing lessons to develop vocal power. Develop a mental picture of your successful self, speaking confidently with the desired outcome.

Dealing with people effectively is a skill that can be learned and developed over time, at some point, you will have to get started, you will have go up to someone and say your piece, even if you stand their dumb struck and your face turns crimson with embarrassment, the first step has to be taken. If you feel nervous or shaky about doing this, you need to feel the fear and do it anyway, if its on your mind, the time will come when you will have to act, go in, do it with the expectation you are going to get it all wrong, but it is never as bad as you think it is going to be. One thing is for sure, conflict is a learning experience, you will learn more about confidence in one session than a lifetime of reading books or articles on the subject.

Remember, confidence is an attitude, a skill set that is learned and developed through application, a state of mind that can be achieved through deliberate consistent actions. You might be naturally shy or quiet and think real confidence is beyond you, but personal confidence can be one of your greatest assets. Learn to believe in yourself and your abilities, it is not easy, you will only gain power and the mental toughness needed through struggle, there is no short cut. You will only learn and grow through the challenge of getting started.

Make no mistake, to act with deliberate intention and say what needs to be said will require consistent effort on your part, you must rehearse what needs to be said, like a musician performing a great song, they had to rehearse once upon a time. Great speeches or monologues are not 'winged,' there is always great preparation that is goes unseen, which can give you the misconception of 'they were born that way', when this is in fact, far from the truth.

##

Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

The 3 Golden Rules of Motivation

Why is motivation important? Whether you are trying to achieve something yourself or lead others towards an achievement, the ability to be self-motivated or to motivate is crucial.

When we meet people who are regarded as successful or high achievers, it is tempting to assume that they are innately self-driven, or are natural leaders with high levels of motivational ability. This may well be the case, but it is just as likely that they have learned and used some effective techniques for either motivating themselves or to motivate others.

The benefits of motivation to an individual are fairly obvious - people who are motivated tend to be more successful in achieving their personal and professional goals, which in turn has benefits in terms of their self-esteem and confidence. Given that people are usually the most important asset of any organization, motivation is also a critical factor in the overall success of a team or business.

The 3 Golden Rules of Motivation

Motivation does not take place on its own. In order to be motivated or to motivate others, it is important to remember three golden rules of motivation before considering any specific techniques.

1. Motivation is impossible without clear achievable goals. Motivation and goal setting are inextricably linked. Without a goal or purpose, motivation is meaningless, whilst motivation is a vital part of intentionally achieving any goal. Two of the most basic motivators are to know exactly what you are trying to achieve, and to then go out and achieve it. Not having a clear idea of your goal or not believing that a goal is attainable will severely dent your motivation.

2. Motivation and goals need to be in alignment at every level. How often have you felt that you have been performing well or doing a good job, only to be told by your manager or colleagues that you have been focusing on the wrong thing, that priorities have changed or that you have simply been under performing?

For example, imagine an experienced sales person who has an excellent track record of retaining business with their established customers, but is heavily criticized by their manager for failing to develop as much new business as their less experienced colleague. As a result, the sales person feels alienated, undervalued and ultimately demotivated. Their performance and results are likely to suffer. The chances are that there has been a lack of dialogue between the manager and the sales person over how individual goals need to fit with the overall goals of the company. If the emphasis is on generating new business, has this been communicated effectively to each sales person, and in a manner which will motivate each of them to succeed?

Every business needs motivated employees in order to be successful and achieve its goals. If employee motivation is not closely matched to these business goals, the chances of success are diminished.

3. Motivation is neither fixed nor infinite. Motivation is not a one time event. Something which provides motivation at one particular time may not be as effective in the future, due to changes in environment and circumstances. If someone is driven to become the best in their field, how do they maintain their motivation to perform once they reach the pinnacle of their profession?

Even if circumstances remain constant, the most powerful motivational factors will lose impact over the course of time. For instance, you may attend a conference and feel energized by a particular speaker or meeting, and leave the event highly motivated to put what you have heard into action. How long will the impact of what you heard last before you slip back into old ways of doing things?

Motivation is a constant process that needs your undivided and focused attention. As you progress on towards achieving your heartfelt goals keep in mind these 3 Golden Rules of Motivation, and remember that motivation is your greatest ally for continued success and achievement in any area of your life.

##

Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

The Power of Patience and Persistence

I watched this afternoon as a young child waited patiently with his mother in a crowded Costco line for 20 minutes - for a slice of pizza, and I was impressed. When I was his age I had very little patience. If I wanted something, I wanted it then, and I wanted now.

This sort of “I want it now, now, now!” attitude stuck with me as I graduated from college causing my now ex-husband and I to drain our savings and our credit cards in order to enjoy a lifestyle that was way beyond our means. In the end our impatience to have it right now cost us a good credit score and resulted in filing for bankruptcy, notwithstanding a divorce a few years later.

Although it was a painful situation at the time I learned a valuable lesson and emerged wiser and with a more appreciative view of the power of patience and persistence.

Of course I know that I am not the only I’m not the only one with an “I want it, and I want it now!” mentality. People of all ages fall into this category of either wanting it all now, or wanting it without having to work for it. Impatience is costly. Not only can it lead to debt and start a cycle of unnecessary consumption and lifestyle inflation, but also impatience robs you of your drive and passion to enjoy the journey of progressive success and accomplishment.

The Power of Patience and Persistence

Of course, patience alone and persistence doesn’t always guarantee success in any particular area of your life, but it definitely increases your odds. Here are just a few of the ways patience can help you achieve your heartfelt goals:

• Patience and persistence allows you to not only notice opportunities but also to take advantage of them. I am sure you have heard the expression, ‘good things happen to those who wait.’ If you’re willing to forge the successful life you have always dreamed of step-by-step, instead of trying to force it, you will encounter opportunities that you may have overlooked if you were trying to sloppily rush towards achieving your goals.

• Patience and persistence increases your self-esteem. If you are really passionate about wanting to achieve something in your life, you will take pride in the process. I don’t know about you, but my heart soars as I focus on my daily action plan of success. With each step of my accomplishment not only does my self-discipline increase, but also my confidence in completing my project, as well as my self-esteem.

• Patience and persistence helps you to focus on what is important in life. In my experience, and perhaps in yours as well, I have noticed that as I age, my values change. Patience and persistence allows you to assess those things that really matter to you, and to practice focusing on those things and enjoying them. It is the pull of the pleasure of consistently pursuing your goals, spending quality time with the people you love, and just plain enjoying the beauty of life that keeps you engaged in life today – not the allure of climbing the corporate ladder.

• Patience and persistence keeps you focused on your goal. By utilizing a simple plan of action, patience and persistence keeps you disciplined and focused on what needs to be done next in terms of achieving your dream or goal. It means focusing on first things first, and not on those things that are either time wasters, or those things that have nothing to do with your goal at all. It means living your life your way by keeping your eyes focused on the prize of achievement.

The power of patience and persistence go hand in hand. If you can learn the value of patience and persistence, the world will open up to you. Remember, anything worth achieving in life is worth taking your time to do it in such a way that you enjoy all of the virtues of your focused passion, and keeping at it until you get your desired result. Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that can have patience, can have what he wills.”

## If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

How to Overcome Self Sabotaging Behaviors

Self-sabotaging behaviors prevent you from conditioning yourself for success. Changing your long, established behavior patterns like self-sabotage is as easy as recognizing and understanding where they came from.

How, then, can you eliminate sabotaging beliefs and emotions? First, you must learn to understand and accept yourself before attempting to understand and accept others. You can't give away that which you don't have which means that you are going to need to take a journey within for an honest personal evaluation.

This inner reflection will consist of looking inside yourself and listening to your inner dialog or self-talk about what you think and what you believe - especially in that area that you are consistently sabotaging yourself. Remain open minded to what you see and hear when learning to explore and understand your own beliefs. This is essential part to making constructive changes in your behaviors. Deciding how far and deep you want to go in your introspection is your own decision. However, when you take the time to do some real soul searching, it has the ability to take your life to a new level when you discover empowering insights to help you to eliminate your damaging self-talk and undermining behaviors.

Making a decision to let go of self-sabotaging behaviors that prevent you from the changes required for attaining success and mastery in those areas of your life that is important to you, takes a great deal of courage, fortitude, and a personal commitment to develop more effective actions. You can't change the beliefs and behavior of others, you do have the power to change what you believe, and how you want to act or react in certain situations. Your greatest power in life is your ability to choose how you want to think, feel, act and react in any given situation. When you take full responsibility of your power you develop a more optimistic attitude and passively equipped to eliminate self-sabotaging behavior patterns.

So what some specific actions can you take now in order to become aware of, and to overcome your sabotaging beliefs and self-defeating emotions?

1. Recognize that you are the master of your life. You, and you alone, are 100% responsible for the decisions and choices you make in life.  Stay true to what it is that you want to be and achieve and politely decline the good opinions of others who want to tell you how you should live your life.

2. Monitor your internal self-talk. Watch for the disempowering chatter that comes up such as, "I can't" or "I won't", and consciously reframe it to "I can," and "I will" on a consistent basis. Pay conscious attention to the emotional changes going on within you as the negative babble rises to the surface, and be prepared to physically describe your changes and write them down. As yourself the following questions: "If I where to know where these negative feelings that ( 'I can't', or 'I don't deserve it', 'I am not good enough') came from it would be . . . ? Is it really true that ( 'I can't', or 'I don't deserve it', 'I am not good enough') or is it just my current perception? Write down what comes up for you. Awareness of where these negative feelings first originated from is 80% of the battle of ridding yourself of self-sabotaging patterns and behaviors.

3. Cultivate positive emotions such as joy, passion, excitement, and happiness. When you do this your are planting the seeds that will produce positive and empowering beliefs and actions. Ask yourself, "Are my actions linked to pleasure-producing situations or to pain-producing situations?" Take actions that will give you the most amount of pleasure and not grief.

Knowing where your self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs originated from in the first place, making a conscious effort to monitor and retrain your internal self-talk, and a consistent effort to develop positive and more productive emotions will help you to overcome self-sabotaging patterns in no time. As a result you will caused procrastination and fear to bow humbly to a life to massive success and achievement of your heart felt dreams.

## If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

How to Use the Law of Attraction to Manifest Your Ideal Partner

Recently I had the opportunity to give a class on The Law of Attraction and how to use it to attract the right relationships into your life. I received some incredbile insight during the Q&A section of the class that I feel would be important to share with those who are interested in learning how to attract your ideal partner in your life through the Law of Attraction.

The following are some of the questions I am asked by some people about their relationships or lack of them. The answers to these questions can help you to better understand the Law of Attraction in terms of helping you to find your ideal mate.

Q. What kind of complaints do you most often hear about finding your ideal partner?

What I most often hear is that attracting their ideal mate is that it is a hard thing to do. I repeatedly hear things like there are no good men or women left, or that people keep attracting less than desirable dates.

However, halfway through the class these people get their "Ahh-Hah!" breakthrough moment! They learn that not getting their ideal relationship or partner has nothing to do with the availability of the 'good' ones, but that it is all about the vibrations they've been sending out.

Q. What is missing from the traditional matchmaking and online dating services?

These services are mostly concerned with what physical attributes you are most attracted to: tall, dark, handsome, busty, pretty, slender etc. However, the Law of Attraction matches people by their vibrations. An ideal dating service would be one that helped people to attract their perfect match by helping them to first begin within themselves. In other words, whatever vibration a person would want their ideal mate to have, they would first begin by creating that vibration first within themselves so that Law of Attraction can match it!

Q. Can you give any suggestions on how single people can their ideal partner?

The most ironic thing is that knowing what you didn't like about a past partner or a past date is very very useful information. You can use what you've experienced to help you get crystal clear about the kind of mate you do want. For example, if you don't want someone who works too much what is it that you do you want? If you don't want someone who is not the boring type what do you want? If you don't want someone who is not interested in dancing, or who is not romantic, or not a good listener etc., whatis it that you do you want?

Knowing what it is that you don't want will help you 'birth' more clarity about what you do want and this clarity becomes your new and specific desire! It also feels fantastic when you when you get clear about what it is you want. This new clarity has now become your heartfelt desire which is the first step to manifesting your ideal mate. I

Q. What's is happening if your desire for a ideal partner is not manifesting?

The first thing you need to know is that you're not offering a pure vibration of the way you want it to be. As a result the Law of Attraction cannot respond to it. In other words, you are saying that you want this certain type of person but you are sending out vibrations contrary to your desire. One way to check what vibrations you are offering is to observe what you are currently receiving in your life. It's always a perfect match to whatever you are offering vibrationally.

The second thing you need to realize is that most people tend to be scorekeepers and they tend to keep score about what isn't happening instead of what is. When you do that you are focusing on what isn't there and you are giving out the energy vibration of what isn't happening, more of your energy, attention and focus!

Q. What do people need to do to correct that?

Every time you catch yourself observing or thinking about what it is that you don't want, take your attention away from it! The easiest way to do this is to say to yourself, "So what is it that I do I want?"

I know it sounds simple, but the truth is that is! When you change your observation from what you don't want to what you do want, your entire vibration changes. When you change your vibration, the results will change too!

Next, for those of you who are scorekeepers, make a conscious effort to begin to notice when you are observing the lack of attracting your ideal mate. If you stop keeping score of what you are not attracting you will stop giving it your attention, energy and focus. Your job is to look for the parts of a relationship or the characteristics of a date that are matching your desire list and give those your full attention! Your vibration will change and the Law of Attraction will bring you more of the same!

Q. What should you do when you get home from a disastrous date?

First of all don't tell anyone! Don't email your friends about it! Don't talk about it with your girlfriends! Don't write about it in your journal. Remember that the Law of Attraction doesn't know if you are remembering something or complaining about it, or worrying about it. The Law of Attraction will simply bring you more of whatever it is you are focusing on!

So, come home from your date…build a list of all the things that you didn't like about your dating experience and convert each item of contrast on your list into another thing that you clearly want.

And then with your new clarity list add it to those things that you would like in an your ideal date.

If it didn't feel right on the first date, it usually will not get any better. Your first impressions are usually the right one so simply move on to the next date, learn fro it and adding new information to your list if necessary each time. You'll know when you've found your ideal mate by how it feels!

The Law of Attraction in relationships is a matter of what type of vibrations you are sending out. Remember that like attracts like. Match up your feelings and emotions with what it is that you want in an ideal relationship and watch how quickly and easily you manifest that ideal mate into your life.

## If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

10 Principles for Living a More Powerful and Enriched Life

As one of my spiritual teachers and mentors, Wayne Dyer has continued to be a rich source of inspiration and knowledge to me. The following are some thought provoking and wisdom packed notes for you to learn and enjoy.

10 principles for living a more powerful and enriching life:

1) Have a mind which is open and attached to nothing- There are no boundaries.
- Put your thoughts on what you want. If your thoughts are on what others think of you, you will become that.
- Never focus on the problem more than a few moments.
- Focus and put your thoughts off of what is and put on what you intend to manifest.
- Look at what you believe is impossible and rewrite your agreement with reality and make it possible for you.
- Live your life detached from outcome. I am not motivated by the outcome. I am not motivated by other people's approval.

2) Don't die with your music still in you - You come into the world with nothing and you leave the world with nothing, you cannot have anything. The only thing you can do with your life is give it away, serve others.
- Meditate of earth without you on it and you will see what you want to do while you are alive.
- Move into the direction of serving. Your job is not to say how? but say 'YES'.

3) You can't give away what you don't have- Love yourself to give away love.
- Energy comes in low and high and moves fast and slow. Everything is energy. There are no and vibrating at a frequency. Meditation slows down thought and raises your frequency.problems, there is only energy moving. Low energy thoughts weaken us. Spiritual energy is the fastest energy in the universe. All problems show up in the world of solid (slow energy). If we bring spiritual energy (fast energy) the problem is solved. Bring higher and faster energy in presence of slower and lower energy.
- Appreciate rather than depreciate, moves you into synchronicity with Energy of love,cheerfulness,kindness, peace( higher energy), when this energy is brought into your problems then problems cannot survive.
- You are energy which is moving
-The problem with force is it creates counter force. If you react to these lower energies you create a magnified lower field, instead of reacting, act with higher energy.
- If you die while you are alive (detach yourself from what people think), you enter into the world of spirit. And bring that higher energy in this world.

4) Embrace silence- Sound is made by silence between the notes. Meditate everyday and put your attention and energy to what you intend to manifest with passion and then surrender and let go.
- Surface of the pond has disturbance but deep below the pond there is calmness. Same with your mind it is full of chatter reduce the thoughts by meditation.
- Whatever it is you want to create it is out of the void. You can never divide the silence. Creation happens with the gap between thoughts.

5) Give up your personal history- Is it possible for the wake to drive the boat? No. Thus is also true for your life. The boat is driven in the present moment by the motor. Thank for all the past falls and struggles. Your life is going the way it is because of the choices you have made.
- Build yourself to be free from what somebody will say or think or use against you. Friends, relatives, parents, peers, girls, co-workers.
- Self-reliance...learn to rely on yourself, and get things done by yourself.
- Do not spend your time thinking about your past or facts of your life.
- Don't bond to your wounds or stick to your labels.
- Live in now free with love of god.
- Don't be bonded to the past. Do not use it to get attention to yourself. Its about letting it all go. I can never fail at anything.

Read More

Goal Setting: 3 Daily Habits You Must Have to Achieve Your Goal

Your daily habits determine your destiny. "Success is the small sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out," says author Robert Collier.

Habits are an interesting thing. Your habits are actually patterns that your subconscious mind runs on an automatic basis.  These patterns if consciously directed can bring you an enormous amount of pleasure and satisfaction; such as with the habit of exercise, the habit of thinking in terms of the positives, and the habit of eating the right foods. But your habits can also be destructive if you don’t consciously recognize how they are directing your life.

In my own life I often felt that I had little time to write and do the things I really loved to do that increased the quality and fun in my day to day routine. This all changed once I realized my excessive television watching habits. When my day was over my habit was to sit my butt down in front of the television, and more often than not, spending four to five hours watching mindless entertainment. I actually cringed when I realized that twenty to thirty hours of my time per week was wasted in front of the old boob tube.

As with your daily habits, your success habits can also be constructive or destructive if you do not consciously make an effort to implement some daily habits into your life that will help you to stay focused on what it is that you want to achieve.

Here are three daily habits that you must have to stay on course and to achieve your hearts desire:

1. Discipline. Discipline yourself to look at your goals daily. This helps you to stay focused not only what it is you want, but also why it is important to you.
2. Persistence. Develop persistence. Create daily action steps towards the accomplishment of your goals and follow through until they are completed. Each step you complete is one step closer to achieving your goal.
3. Belief. Believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. Create a ritual everyday in which you remind yourself that you deserve what you want, that can achieve what you want, and that your outcome is achievable and possible to you. You can do this by positive affirmations. The habit of positive self-talk is an invaluable ally for success in any area of life.

The habit of success needs to be reinforced until it becomes a habit. Don't let negative habits run your life by default and ruin your chances of living an empowered and victorious life. Use the power of disciple, persistence, and belief to your advantage today and achieve massive results in your life now!

##

If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

3 Steps to Supercharged Confidence

Motivational author Robert Collier once wrote, "Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measure by your belief in yourself." To succeed in any endeavor of life you must learn to be confident in yourself and in your ability to succeed.

Here are 3 simple steps that you can use starting today for supercharged confidence in your ability to receive the best out of life.

1. Talk positively to yourself all the time. Become your own best friend and supporter. Encourage yourself to do more. Congratulate yourself on every small or large victory. Remember that very few people are successful the first time they try to do something. You didn't ride a bike the first time you tried.

Thomas Edison didn't invent the light bulb on his first attempt either. It took him more than 10,000 attempts before he made the first successful light bulb and it only lasted a few minutes. The biggest thing to remember is that you are never defeated in doing anything you want to do until you quit.

Donald Trump, during a recent interview, stated that he was richer than most people because he failed more times than most. However, in his case, he learned from his mistakes and tried again. Why? Because he was confident that he could do what he wanted to do if he just continued trying.

You are no different from Donald Trump. Do what he did. Just keep trying until you succeed. When you do, your self confidence will soar and you will realize that you can do anything you want to as long as you continue trying.

2. Another technique is to study and watch other people. When you see someone that stands upright and moves with a sense of purpose watch to see if they give you the impression that they have a lot of confidence. If they do, duplicate the physical characteristics of these confident people and you will start to gain the confidence they display.

3. The most important thing that you must ensure that you do is to not do listen to people who talk down to you or try to tell you that you cannot do something. Usually these people can't do these things themselves, so they try to convince others that they can't do them either. If something like this keeps happening to you, tune these people out and stop associating with them. Your inner confidence needs to be liberated from this constant barrage of negative thoughts and statements from the dream stealers around you. Your limitations are in your mind, not in your reality.

Here are a few more tips you can use for everyday practice:  If you want to develop and build confidence, associate with positive uplifting people. Positive and uplifting people around you inspire you and will help you build self-confidence. If you want to build up your confidence, do something new every day. Stimulate your mind by experiencing new things on a regular basis.

Each of these small acts will add to your confidence by causing you to break out of your comfort zone, and will also make your life more enjoyable.

The most sacred thing in life is self-confidence because it is the secret of all miracles. When you have confidence in yourself, you arouse everything that is stronger, greater and superior in you. In consequence, the more confidence you have in yourself, the more you will attain and accomplish.

A person who knows the power of self-confidence walks a path of inner growth and achievement. With self confidence a person of mediocre ability can achieve more in life than those with exceptional talents and little self confidence. Supercharge your confidence today!

##

If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

Plug Into Your Life with a Purpose!

Imagine that each person on this planet carried with them a teaspoon of soil or rock from Mt. Everest. Certainly Mt. Everest would shrink! Those individual teaspoons of material from the tallest mountain on Earth now in the pockets of billions of people also wouldn't mean much.

Well I suppose each of us could put that small amount of mineral material into a bottle and keep it as a souvenir. But like most souvenirs we collect, we tire of dusting them and they become added to the already crowded drawer or box of meaningless, useless items. A teaspoon of dirt, in a jar, in a drawer, that by itself means little.

But, wait a minute - What about it’s P-0-T-E-N-T-I-A-L?

From Webster's Dictionary:

"Contribute": to give or supply in common with others

What if each person on this planet brought their teaspoon of Mt. Everest to the site where it used to stand and contributed it? What would happen? Why, we would build the highest, mightiest mountain on Earth together?

Good thought. Doubtful it would happen. Why not? Let's explore that. We can start by applying this Mt. Everest metaphor to our own lives.

Modern times finds we human beings have, at least in the developed world, become rather insular (just think of the word "insulate"). We cocoon in our homes. We don't have time, we don't have enough money, and we are tired. We don't have any time to ourselves, we go to work and slave for someone else’s goals and often receive a pay check for much less than we feel we are worth. We provide for our families, do the myriad of tasks and chores in and for the home. Sacrifice for and fearfully protect our children. We amass debt to do many of these things. We feel trapped in a vortex of stress. And yet, with all this striving for what we think we want, if we are honest, we still feel unfulfilled and probably guilty for feeling that way!

Something elusive is still missing.

Read More

8 Romantic Ways to Say I Love You

Having an arsenal of ways that you can say "I love you" will not only make a big difference in the quality of your relationship, but it will also bring more fun and excitement too.

Here are some fun, practical, easy, yet extremely romantic ways that you can say "I love you" to your partner without communicating a single word.

Write Love Notes. Write little love notes and put them in unusual and unexpected places such as inside a briefcase, purse, wallet, or even in the freezer! Be creative. Some of the places I have placed small little notes is inside my husbands clean socks, on his shaving mirror, on the television remote, and attached to a beer can in the fridge. Use post it notes, small cards, index cards folded in half, or themed stationary paper. Finding your notes in the most unsuspecting places will develop a sense of fun and adventure in your mate smiles and wonders, "where is a note going to be next!!"

Hug. Hugging and touching are emotional heart connectors and provide a great deal of intimacy in a relationship. Hug your partner as often as possible and dont forget to give them a little innocent kiss on the cheek! A wise sage once said, "A kiss without a squeeze is like apple pie without some cheese."

Read or Write A Poem. Poems are the language of love. Write a poem for your partner, or in the alternative read them one. There are several great websites online that have some wonderfully romantic poems that you can share. You dont have to mushy. Just write or read something that is sincere and that tells them how much you love them.

Surprise Your Partner With a Gift. Dont limit yourself to giving gifts only on your mates birthday, your Anniversary, Christmas, or Valentines Day. Surprise your partner by buying them random gifts. You dont have to bust the bank here either. Think of small gifts that you know your mate will enjoy such as flowers, a paperback book or magazine, or a gift card to their favorite coffee bistro. Giving a gift provides the giver with as much joy as it does to the person receiving it and is a perfect way to say "I love you."

Hold Your Lovers Hand. Holding hands, like hugging, keep you physically connected and is a simple romantic gesture that tells your partner you still enjoy their touch. Hold your partners hand while walking in the parking lot, across the table in a restaurant, or while sitting together watching TV.

Surprise Your Mate with a Special Meal. Prepare one of your mate's favorite meals and create some ambiance in the room. Set the table, light the fireplace, light some candles, put soft music on, and be prepared for some romantic sparks!

Dress The Part. Take some time to look your best for your partner. Dont let the romance robber called complacency ruin your party. Often in the early stages of a relationship you take the time to dress up and make an effort to look your best, but then due to the familiarity factor you become complacent. Wear perfume and make up if you are a woman, and cologne if you are a man. Also, spice up things once in a while by wearing some sexy lingerie or undergarment.

Give a Foot or Shoulder Rub. The daily stressors of life and the necessity to be on our feet for long periods of time through out the day cause a great deal of tension in the shoulders, and tired, achy feet. Show your partner how much you care about them by rubbing their feet, and by giving them a quick shoulder massage. It will not only refresh and revive them after a long day of work, but also will remind them that you are concerned about them physically and emotionally.

Sip Champagne in Bed. Dont wait for a special occasion to sip champagne with your mate. Surprise them by serving them champagne in bed! You can serve your partner brunch in bed and include a glass of champagne, or serve it as an appetizer, or an aperitif, after making love.

There are numerous ways to tell your partner that you love them, and the best part is that many of them cost little or no money. The only thing that is needed is an appreciative and open heart, a bit of creativity, and a willingness and desire to create small surprising memories and experiences that equate into a lifetime of love and romance.

##

If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

How to Overcome Failure and Reboot for Success

Failure. It happens to the best of us. Often after failing to achieve something important many people choose to give up on their heartfelt dreams and goals, shut down emotionally, and refuse to try again.

But if you want to overcome failure and reboot yourself for ultimate success, you must get up and try again. An ancient Chinese proverb says, “Failing is not falling down, but refusing to get back up.”

Here are three useful tips on how you can overcome failure in your life:

1. Take responsibility for your part in the situation.

This means that blame has got to go. Blame often occurs in two ways, by either blaming others for your plight, or blaming outside circumstance. Here are two examples of what I mean.
In a recent personal coaching session my client, who we shall call “Ted”, blamed his DUI arrest on a “beligerant cop”. I helped Ted realize the following truth; that drinking while under the influence was illegal and obviously dangerous to himself and others, and that he was the one who made the choice to get drunk and then to drive, not the “beligerant cop”.

In another session, a woman I shall call Helen, blamed her business failure on the economy. “Its all the economy’s fault that my business failed,” she told me. I explained to Helen that the economy really had nothing to do with her business failing since many businesses similar to hers were flourishing in the supposed economic down turn. As Helen I discussed the subject deeper she admitted that she did not efficiently make use of her time, nor her resources when managing her company.

Once both Ted and Helen realized that blame was not going to help them to overcome their failures and start again, they took responsibility for their part in the situation and were ready to move forward towards a successful resolution.

2. Realize that there are no failures in life, only opportunities.

This was great advice given to me by my Dad when I was 14 years old and lost terribly in a karate tournament. Get into the habit of asking yourself the following two questions: what is the opportunity in this situation? And, what can I learn from this situation?

3. Get up, brush yourself off, and try again.

In order to get back onto the fast track of success you must get back up and try again. Success is a step-by-step venture which is activated by action. No action, no forward progress - plain and simple. Action creates movement, and that momentum eventually equates to victory!

A wise sage once said, “Every time you fail, you move one step closer to succeeding. Embrace failure as part of success and get going.” Turn your failures into success by applying these tips when ever you miss achieving your goal, and more importantly make them a habit. Look at the situation for what it is, learn from it, and try again.

Read More

A Woman's Guide to Jump Starting Your Self Confidence

I love the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Actually grasping this concept alone will be your most valuable asset on your journey to confidence, and remember - jump starting your self confidence is a journey not a destination.

Women in modern society face greater challenges especially in the corporate work environment. Therefore confidence is key when it comes to success and reaching your goals. Also, you will find that if you build confidence in one area of your life suddenly you begin to become more confident in other areas.

When developing confidence, the one thing that is important to remember is that you weren't born confident. We have all had life experiences when we felt less than enough, pushed down, and/or have gone through some amazingly difficult circumstances that have ultimately shaped and influenced our confidence levels.

So what does this mean?  Confidence is a learned trait; which means that you are going to have to make a deliberate effort to develop it, but it will be well worth it.

Here are some great tips on how to increase your confidence:

1. Set goals you know you can reach. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day.

2. Allow yourself to fail without it depleting your value and self worth. First of all, take the approach that we learn from our mistakes. Some of my best education has come for the school of hard knocks. I recently read a statistic that said the best baseball player hits around .350 - which means he misses 65 percent of the time.

3. Acknowledge yourself. Focusing on your positive qualities. Remember no one is perfect even if they think they are! In doing this it will be important to tune out the mindless head chatter. We are often our own worst enemy when it comes to squashing our self confidence.

4. Acknowledge qualities you would like to improve. Remember, like in all the "group therapy" meetings we hear about the first step is to acknowledge the problem.

5. Once problems areas are identified, seek assistance in resolving them. Don't go at this alone. I think so many people are ashamed to get help that they suffer in silence. I would much rather drop my pride and get help and live a fruitful life than to attempt to fake it. Remember, faking self confidence won't last. If you are anxious about seeking help, do so with someone that doesn't know you personally and ensures your privacy. If you need professional assistance but finances are an issue, many church organizations or organizations on the internet offer assistance for free.

6. Celebrate your successes. Yes, we all have them. Focus on your talents and give yourself permission to be proud of yourself. Remember the inferiority quote, "no one makes you feel inferior without your permission"?

7. Be thankful and be positive. I've heard it said that a lack of self confidence can be due to a feeling of not having enough of something. Things will come and go in our lives, so who we are cannot be based on what we have materially. Being thankful and recognizing what you do have will help to fight the feeling of insecurity and inadequacy, but try to focus on non-material things such as relationships, health, your humor or wisdom, or your ability to remain calm under crazy circumstances. Also, avoid self-pity. Again I say, remember the quote, "no one makes you feel inferior without your permission"!

8. Get a hobby that is enjoyable to you and allows you to express yourself. Things such as music, art, writing, or even volunteering are great examples. It doesn't have to be something you think you will be good at. Let it be something that is purely for enjoyment and you'll be amazed at how good at it you actually are!

9. Stick with your principles. By maintaining an identity that is consistent you will find that people will become more respectful of you, increasing your confidence. When ever you waver back and forth on issues it gives people the sense you are wishy-washy and perhaps not as trustworthy. This can strain relationships making your confidence level decrease.

10. Also, it should go without saying but stick up for yourself! I once heard someone say that you have to teach people how to treat you. If you let them put you down many will. Don't let them decrease your confidence even in a joking manner.

11. Smile - even if you don't feel like it. Many of you know that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile so go ahead and smile. Besides, studies have shown that an expression on your face can actually persuade your brain to register that emotion. Think: I am gorgeous! Then look in the mirror and smile.

12. Of course everyone’s favorite - get plenty of sleep, eat well, exercise regularly, and stop stressing. I put these all together because they seem to end up together in most self-help mantras these days. And as many of you can relate they are easier said then done. Remember the first thing - set attainable goals? That is a must for this action item.

13. Try to spend time surrounded by people that lift you up. There is a belief that you become like those you send your time with. If you are constantly hanging around negative people then you are likely to become the same. I was once encouraged to take a cell phone challenge and delete everyone from my phone that was negative or created feelings of negatively in me when we spoke. This is a bit extreme for some of you but has been known to work. Also, know that surrounding yourself with positive people will likely lead to compliments, something many of us aren't comfortable accepting due to low confidence levels. Accept them and don't make excuses as to why their compliment isn't really correct!

14. Take action! You would be surprised how powerful this one strategy is. By setting attainable goals and taking baby steps, taking action can be easy. The awesome thing is it tends to have a snowball effect.

Now you are on your way to building your confidence level.  Remember, self confidence won't happen overnight so be patient with yourself. A confident woman is a sexy woman.  The more you practice these techniques, the easier it is to maintain the confidence once established. And the more confident you become, the more successful, capable, charismatic, and prosperous you will be. 

Read More

Success Is On Purpose!

You are always living. This may seem obvious, but the truth is that many people seem to go through most of their life on autopilot. Sure they have hopes and dreams, they have ideas and plans, yet few actually achieve them because they fail to recognize that success is on purpose.

With every second that passes you lose valuable time given to you to accomplish and experience various things that have the ability to increase success, prosperity, and joy in life.

Think about this for a moment. There are many people the world over that can not afford to sit in front of a computer and read articles like this to compel them to live life on purpose. This is because they have only one clear purpose - and that is survival. They are not dreaming of success, riches or retirement. They are hoping to survive one more day.

This is not a guilt trip, but hard reality. You and I are extremely blessed to be living in North America or some other developed nation where opportunities to successfully create the life of your dreams abound. But to whom much is given, much is expected. It is therefore your duty to succeed despite the challenges you have faced. Challenges after all are just that, they are by no means an excuse.

My best friend's Grandfather grew up in a third world country, and she still has many relatives who would be thrilled to be offered the chance to live in North America. They do what they can to get by, feed their families, raise their kids not unlike us over here, but they have very little to aspire in the way of opportunity.

In North America, you can aspire to the heights of society, finance, status, fame, etc and with focused attention and action you can achieve it in your lifetime. There is nothing you cannot do when you combine focused attention, action, and clear resolve.

I feel a heartfelt responsibility to make the most of my life. What about you? What would a successful life look like to you? Try exploring your dreams beyond that of merely riches and fame.

John Maxwell says "Success is knowing your purpose, growing to reach your maximum potential and sowing seeds that benefit others."

My definition of success is to actively close the gap between who you are now and who Source purposed you to be. So the big question then is this - "What is your purpose?"

Here are four foundational principles on purpose that apply to any created or invented things or being for you to consider:

1. Everything is life has a purpose

2. Not every purpose is known

3. If you don’t know the purpose of a thing, you will abuse it. (E.g. a surgeon's scalpel can be used to save or take a life.)

4. If you want to know the purpose of a thing, never ask the things.

The purpose of a thing is only found in the mind of the maker of that thing.

Only the original manufacturer of a car can know the full purpose of the car and each of its components. Only they know the potential and can give correct directions of use. Everyone else is guessing. You won't find a Ford Manual in a Toyota Car, neither could you get one to fix the others product. (Without voiding the warranty and performance guarantee!)

So what am I trying to get at here?  Here is what I am trying to get across in a nutshell: the fact that you exist implies that there was a purpose behind your creation.

You are not an accident (no matter how you were conceived) and your success in life is determined, not by how much you make or spend, or what other people may tell you that success is supposed to be and look like. Your success in this life is determined by whether you have fulfilled your purpose, and every second that goes by ought to be spent in the pursuit of that purpose.

In fact succeeding is not so much about achieving, but enjoying the journey towards what we were born to do. Challenge yourself to live a life of purpose. Seek out that purpose. Only your Maker can reveal that. Don't let people put you in a box! Always live your life on purpose and you will find not only success, but discover a life that is joyful, prosperous, and overflowing with abundance.

Read More

Meditation: How to Tame the Monkey of Your Mind

In Zen meditation, "Monkey Mind" is a term used to describe the experience of thoughts as they jump to and fro, like a monkey swinging from branch to branch in a tree.

In meditation practice, especially when you are first starting out, your mind has the tendency to jump from thought to thought, analyzing this and that, worrying about what will happen, replaying who said what and how you reacted, etc.

The first time I heard the expression, "monkey mind," in regard to meditation, I laughed to myself. As a child, my favorite thing to do at the zoo was to watch the antics of the monkeys. I could watch them play, and be entertained for hours and never get bored. I enjoyed watching as they engaged in one activity to another, allowing themselves to be highly stimulated by the environment around them.

One of the mind's favorite occupations is to play and be entertained with random thought. Modern psychology calls this sort of mind activity concept looping, in which the thoughts loop around from mental concept to mental concept without ceasing.

Meditation is a very effective way to tame the endless chatter and activity of the monkey mind. So what are some ways that you can tame the monkey of your mind so that you can fully enjoy the benefits of meditation?

1. Notice the thought without attaching to it. Taming monkey of your mind is simply the act of noticing a thought without attaching to it. When you are 'attached' to a thought it means that you make it personal, adding your own spin on it with your feelings, beliefs, and concepts. The ego mind loves to do this as much as a monkey loves to eat bananas!

2. After observing the thought let it go. Taming the monkey of your mind is the practice of observing a new thought without letting it take hold of you, as well as the habit of choosing to release a thought and to let it go, instead of letting the ego mind run with it.

When I first began meditation I found this a bit difficult to do because my mind was used to having its own way with me. When I began to consciously control my mind, my mind rebelled. But with continued practice I realized that I was not my mind, and that I could choose to not act or react on every thought that just popped into my head. This realization empowered me, and I slowly began to be able let the chatter of the mind cease, and to experience the deep inner peace that comes with a regular practice of meditation.

Meditation allows you to harness the power of the mind, center it, and focus on one subject at a time. If you take the time for a daily meditation practice, your decision making process will be much more controlled and clear. The end result will be to look at the monkey in your with much more compassion, respect, appreciation, and a bit of humor.

Read More

Action! The Lost Secret to the Law of Attraction

Action is often the missing key in the Law of Attraction. There is a big difference between thought and action. Says Wallace Wattles, “Thought is the creative power, or the impelling force which causes the creative power to act . . . but you must not rely upon thought alone paying no attention to personal action.”

This is where many people get stuck in trying to apply the formula of the Law of Attraction in life. I love the following wise saying about action, ‘A rocking chair rocks back and forth but goes nowhere.’

The same theory applies in the Law of Attraction. You can say all the affirmations you want, and you can have absolute faith that you are going to achieve everything that’s on your vision board, but unless you take some measurable actions steps you are not going to achieve anything because there is no attraction without action.

Perhaps like me you were taught the old model of the Law of Attraction that stated: ASK – BELIEVE – RECEIVE.

The new model is this: ASK – BELIEVE - ACT- RECEIVE.

How then do you know if you are taking efficient action towards your goals and dreams? Here is some wise advise from personal development great Anthony Robbins:

“The truth of the matter is that there's nothing you can't accomplish if:
(1) You clearly decide what it is that you're absolutely committed to achieving,
(2) You're willing to take massive action, (3) You notice what's working or not, and (4) You continue to change your approach until you achieve what you want, using whatever life gives you along the way." ~ Anthony Robbins

There is no attraction without action. Take action on your goals and dreams today so that you can reap in the rich rewards of an abundant and prosperous life.

 ##

If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources.  Like us on Facebook!

Read More

How to Master Your Time with These 3 Simple Steps

Time management is one of the least mastered and most desired skills in our fast-paced modern world. To be successful at life, to have, and be everything that you desire, learning the art of time management crucial.

What can you do to double your time management skills?  Here are 3 things you can begin to do starting today:

1.  Eliminate time wasters in your life. Time wasters are things that interrupt you and you spend time doing, but you wouldn't have chosen to do them given the choice. Eliminating these time wasters is critical for time management:

Email---If you are spending more than 30 minutes per day on email (unless that is your business) you are spending too much!

Telephone---If you answer the phone live more than 5 times per day during your productive time (work, work at home, etc.) you are sacrificing time management and efficiency. When you answer the phone, you interrupt your current productive flow and this kills your productivity.

Television---This must be limited for you to achieve ultimate control over your time. My recommendation is 30 minutes per day, especially if you are not getting all the things done you need or want to.

2.  Make a list of what is genuinely important in your life and just start doing the things on your list.  One of the keys to time management is prioritization---you absolutely must know what you want to accomplish and then go do it. Today's world has too many distractions and when you allow those distractions to become priority, you sacrifice time management. Follow these steps:

Make of list of what you want to accomplish

Set time frames for accomplishing each item

Organize each item in order of importance

Create a game plan for achieving each of your goals in its respective time frame

3.  Begin to focus on time management throughout the course of the day. Your consistent focus must be on managing your time. Once you have determined your goals and your priorities, start focusing on simply getting those things done. If something isn't on your goals list for this week - don't do it until all your goals are done. When you prioritize every interruption that occurs and put your goals last, you will not accomplish your goals. Instead, you will be a slave (as you probably are now) to interruptions and probably feel like you never accomplish enough.

Learning the skill of time management is truly is critical to becoming successful, doing everything you want to, and achieving ultimate success. Begin to apply one or more of these steps into our daily management program starting today and enjoy the benefits of having more time play at life!

 ##

If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources.  Like us on Facebook!

Read More

Create A Positive Mindset Through Meditation

You have the ability to create your own dominant mental programming. A positive mindset is a powerful mindset. It is the ability to consciously change your environment, economic status, circle of friends, and attitude. and it is completely under your control.

Your mind absorbs and siphons raw data just like a computer. Within your mind exists a unique civilization unto itself consisting of all your beliefs and attitudes which decide how you are going to show up in the world. Many people feel like they have no control of their own mind, because this inner society of the mind has become negative. This negativity is a result of perceived past experiences, being in a less than harmonious home, work, economic, or social, negative environment, or being under the influence of nonconstructive ideas.

Similar to a computer virus, you need to learn to identify negative thought patterns quickly, to avoid letting them spread throughout your mind by saturating your thoughts. You can also pass this virus of negative thinking and energy onto people around you, like "weeds in a field."

Much like a farmer, you cultivate too. The energy in your mind is the crop, and it is up to you, whether you sow weeds or wheat. If you have a farm and let a field take care of itself by default; you will be lucky if you are able to reap any kind of a crop from it at all.

This is the same with the energy within your mind.

You have to option to pick quality seeds to sow into your mind in the form of inspiring and motivating, books, eBooks, DVD's, audio programs from CD's and mp3's, lectures, courses, workshops, and seminars. Continued personal and spiritual development results into only in a positive mindset, but also in a positive outlook on life.

One thing you must remember, however, is that your work is not finished with just one book, or personal development workshop, because you must still reinforce the lessons. This comes from repeated listening, learning, and applying what you learn. Repetition is the mother of skill. This might be compared to fertilizing, watering, and "weeding the mind." You need to work at it continually or the weeds will take root and grow back.

This is where meditation can come into play. The practice of meditation teaches you controlled focus on an object, thought, or task without judgment. This process makes it possible to look at all situations objectively to immediately take stock of the fertile soil of the mind.

With meditation you can find solutions, turn negative situations into positive and productive learning experiences, and create your own positive mindset. As a result of you will not only develop an indomitable spirit, but also make new friends, reach your goals quicker, and handle problems more easily.

 ##

If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources.  Like us on Facebook!

Read More