How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People

One of the many reasons why people lose confidence and power in dealing with people is because they are too overly concerned with what other people think. They feel they won't be liked if they said what was on their mind. What they are really saying is that they are trying to avoid conflict, when the conflict is the exact learning experience they need to provide the growth, knowledge and confidence for dealing with people in the first place.

Conflict management or managing the conflict of ideas and thoughts between two or more people can be an incredible learning experience for everyone involved, so much information is revealed in these intense periods that if we can learn to keep our integrity in tack during these short bursts of emotion, common ground can be quickly found.

However, if your confidence and power in dealing with people is somewhat watery at best, here are three tips to clarify your thinking and get you back on track.

1. What Do You Want Confidence And Power For?

We interact with different people on a daily basis, we need cooperation from these people because we know we cannot do it alone, we expect a certain amount of reciprocal behavior to get to where we want to be, so it would be beneficial to know what our motives are for persuading people over to our way of thinking?

2. What Is Your Attitude Towards Conflict?

True self-confidence is developed from the act of carrying out a successful task that has an element of personal risk or challenge. Confidence is also about disagreeing or saying no without feeling guilty in situations where we have strong opinions, to stand up for oneself so to speak. So if someone violates your space in some way, do you take the courage or confidence to take responsibility for the situation and speak up or do you just ‘let it go’…again?

3. Preparation Is The Key

One of the key secrets to real confident behavior is preparation, look at the words you are habitually using and prepare your speech in advance. Learn to be speak with authority, maybe even take a few singing lessons to develop vocal power. Develop a mental picture of your successful self, speaking confidently with the desired outcome.

Dealing with people effectively is a skill that can be learned and developed over time, at some point, you will have to get started, you will have go up to someone and say your piece, even if you stand their dumb struck and your face turns crimson with embarrassment, the first step has to be taken. If you feel nervous or shaky about doing this, you need to feel the fear and do it anyway, if its on your mind, the time will come when you will have to act, go in, do it with the expectation you are going to get it all wrong, but it is never as bad as you think it is going to be. One thing is for sure, conflict is a learning experience, you will learn more about confidence in one session than a lifetime of reading books or articles on the subject.

Remember, confidence is an attitude, a skill set that is learned and developed through application, a state of mind that can be achieved through deliberate consistent actions. You might be naturally shy or quiet and think real confidence is beyond you, but personal confidence can be one of your greatest assets. Learn to believe in yourself and your abilities, it is not easy, you will only gain power and the mental toughness needed through struggle, there is no short cut. You will only learn and grow through the challenge of getting started.

Make no mistake, to act with deliberate intention and say what needs to be said will require consistent effort on your part, you must rehearse what needs to be said, like a musician performing a great song, they had to rehearse once upon a time. Great speeches or monologues are not 'winged,' there is always great preparation that is goes unseen, which can give you the misconception of 'they were born that way', when this is in fact, far from the truth.

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Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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The 3 Golden Rules of Motivation

Why is motivation important? Whether you are trying to achieve something yourself or lead others towards an achievement, the ability to be self-motivated or to motivate is crucial.

When we meet people who are regarded as successful or high achievers, it is tempting to assume that they are innately self-driven, or are natural leaders with high levels of motivational ability. This may well be the case, but it is just as likely that they have learned and used some effective techniques for either motivating themselves or to motivate others.

The benefits of motivation to an individual are fairly obvious - people who are motivated tend to be more successful in achieving their personal and professional goals, which in turn has benefits in terms of their self-esteem and confidence. Given that people are usually the most important asset of any organization, motivation is also a critical factor in the overall success of a team or business.

The 3 Golden Rules of Motivation

Motivation does not take place on its own. In order to be motivated or to motivate others, it is important to remember three golden rules of motivation before considering any specific techniques.

1. Motivation is impossible without clear achievable goals. Motivation and goal setting are inextricably linked. Without a goal or purpose, motivation is meaningless, whilst motivation is a vital part of intentionally achieving any goal. Two of the most basic motivators are to know exactly what you are trying to achieve, and to then go out and achieve it. Not having a clear idea of your goal or not believing that a goal is attainable will severely dent your motivation.

2. Motivation and goals need to be in alignment at every level. How often have you felt that you have been performing well or doing a good job, only to be told by your manager or colleagues that you have been focusing on the wrong thing, that priorities have changed or that you have simply been under performing?

For example, imagine an experienced sales person who has an excellent track record of retaining business with their established customers, but is heavily criticized by their manager for failing to develop as much new business as their less experienced colleague. As a result, the sales person feels alienated, undervalued and ultimately demotivated. Their performance and results are likely to suffer. The chances are that there has been a lack of dialogue between the manager and the sales person over how individual goals need to fit with the overall goals of the company. If the emphasis is on generating new business, has this been communicated effectively to each sales person, and in a manner which will motivate each of them to succeed?

Every business needs motivated employees in order to be successful and achieve its goals. If employee motivation is not closely matched to these business goals, the chances of success are diminished.

3. Motivation is neither fixed nor infinite. Motivation is not a one time event. Something which provides motivation at one particular time may not be as effective in the future, due to changes in environment and circumstances. If someone is driven to become the best in their field, how do they maintain their motivation to perform once they reach the pinnacle of their profession?

Even if circumstances remain constant, the most powerful motivational factors will lose impact over the course of time. For instance, you may attend a conference and feel energized by a particular speaker or meeting, and leave the event highly motivated to put what you have heard into action. How long will the impact of what you heard last before you slip back into old ways of doing things?

Motivation is a constant process that needs your undivided and focused attention. As you progress on towards achieving your heartfelt goals keep in mind these 3 Golden Rules of Motivation, and remember that motivation is your greatest ally for continued success and achievement in any area of your life.

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Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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The Power of Patience and Persistence

I watched this afternoon as a young child waited patiently with his mother in a crowded Costco line for 20 minutes - for a slice of pizza, and I was impressed. When I was his age I had very little patience. If I wanted something, I wanted it then, and I wanted now.

This sort of “I want it now, now, now!” attitude stuck with me as I graduated from college causing my now ex-husband and I to drain our savings and our credit cards in order to enjoy a lifestyle that was way beyond our means. In the end our impatience to have it right now cost us a good credit score and resulted in filing for bankruptcy, notwithstanding a divorce a few years later.

Although it was a painful situation at the time I learned a valuable lesson and emerged wiser and with a more appreciative view of the power of patience and persistence.

Of course I know that I am not the only I’m not the only one with an “I want it, and I want it now!” mentality. People of all ages fall into this category of either wanting it all now, or wanting it without having to work for it. Impatience is costly. Not only can it lead to debt and start a cycle of unnecessary consumption and lifestyle inflation, but also impatience robs you of your drive and passion to enjoy the journey of progressive success and accomplishment.

The Power of Patience and Persistence

Of course, patience alone and persistence doesn’t always guarantee success in any particular area of your life, but it definitely increases your odds. Here are just a few of the ways patience can help you achieve your heartfelt goals:

• Patience and persistence allows you to not only notice opportunities but also to take advantage of them. I am sure you have heard the expression, ‘good things happen to those who wait.’ If you’re willing to forge the successful life you have always dreamed of step-by-step, instead of trying to force it, you will encounter opportunities that you may have overlooked if you were trying to sloppily rush towards achieving your goals.

• Patience and persistence increases your self-esteem. If you are really passionate about wanting to achieve something in your life, you will take pride in the process. I don’t know about you, but my heart soars as I focus on my daily action plan of success. With each step of my accomplishment not only does my self-discipline increase, but also my confidence in completing my project, as well as my self-esteem.

• Patience and persistence helps you to focus on what is important in life. In my experience, and perhaps in yours as well, I have noticed that as I age, my values change. Patience and persistence allows you to assess those things that really matter to you, and to practice focusing on those things and enjoying them. It is the pull of the pleasure of consistently pursuing your goals, spending quality time with the people you love, and just plain enjoying the beauty of life that keeps you engaged in life today – not the allure of climbing the corporate ladder.

• Patience and persistence keeps you focused on your goal. By utilizing a simple plan of action, patience and persistence keeps you disciplined and focused on what needs to be done next in terms of achieving your dream or goal. It means focusing on first things first, and not on those things that are either time wasters, or those things that have nothing to do with your goal at all. It means living your life your way by keeping your eyes focused on the prize of achievement.

The power of patience and persistence go hand in hand. If you can learn the value of patience and persistence, the world will open up to you. Remember, anything worth achieving in life is worth taking your time to do it in such a way that you enjoy all of the virtues of your focused passion, and keeping at it until you get your desired result. Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that can have patience, can have what he wills.”

## If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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How to Overcome Self Sabotaging Behaviors

Self-sabotaging behaviors prevent you from conditioning yourself for success. Changing your long, established behavior patterns like self-sabotage is as easy as recognizing and understanding where they came from.

How, then, can you eliminate sabotaging beliefs and emotions? First, you must learn to understand and accept yourself before attempting to understand and accept others. You can't give away that which you don't have which means that you are going to need to take a journey within for an honest personal evaluation.

This inner reflection will consist of looking inside yourself and listening to your inner dialog or self-talk about what you think and what you believe - especially in that area that you are consistently sabotaging yourself. Remain open minded to what you see and hear when learning to explore and understand your own beliefs. This is essential part to making constructive changes in your behaviors. Deciding how far and deep you want to go in your introspection is your own decision. However, when you take the time to do some real soul searching, it has the ability to take your life to a new level when you discover empowering insights to help you to eliminate your damaging self-talk and undermining behaviors.

Making a decision to let go of self-sabotaging behaviors that prevent you from the changes required for attaining success and mastery in those areas of your life that is important to you, takes a great deal of courage, fortitude, and a personal commitment to develop more effective actions. You can't change the beliefs and behavior of others, you do have the power to change what you believe, and how you want to act or react in certain situations. Your greatest power in life is your ability to choose how you want to think, feel, act and react in any given situation. When you take full responsibility of your power you develop a more optimistic attitude and passively equipped to eliminate self-sabotaging behavior patterns.

So what some specific actions can you take now in order to become aware of, and to overcome your sabotaging beliefs and self-defeating emotions?

1. Recognize that you are the master of your life. You, and you alone, are 100% responsible for the decisions and choices you make in life.  Stay true to what it is that you want to be and achieve and politely decline the good opinions of others who want to tell you how you should live your life.

2. Monitor your internal self-talk. Watch for the disempowering chatter that comes up such as, "I can't" or "I won't", and consciously reframe it to "I can," and "I will" on a consistent basis. Pay conscious attention to the emotional changes going on within you as the negative babble rises to the surface, and be prepared to physically describe your changes and write them down. As yourself the following questions: "If I where to know where these negative feelings that ( 'I can't', or 'I don't deserve it', 'I am not good enough') came from it would be . . . ? Is it really true that ( 'I can't', or 'I don't deserve it', 'I am not good enough') or is it just my current perception? Write down what comes up for you. Awareness of where these negative feelings first originated from is 80% of the battle of ridding yourself of self-sabotaging patterns and behaviors.

3. Cultivate positive emotions such as joy, passion, excitement, and happiness. When you do this your are planting the seeds that will produce positive and empowering beliefs and actions. Ask yourself, "Are my actions linked to pleasure-producing situations or to pain-producing situations?" Take actions that will give you the most amount of pleasure and not grief.

Knowing where your self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs originated from in the first place, making a conscious effort to monitor and retrain your internal self-talk, and a consistent effort to develop positive and more productive emotions will help you to overcome self-sabotaging patterns in no time. As a result you will caused procrastination and fear to bow humbly to a life to massive success and achievement of your heart felt dreams.

## If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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How to Use the Law of Attraction to Manifest Your Ideal Partner

Recently I had the opportunity to give a class on The Law of Attraction and how to use it to attract the right relationships into your life. I received some incredbile insight during the Q&A section of the class that I feel would be important to share with those who are interested in learning how to attract your ideal partner in your life through the Law of Attraction.

The following are some of the questions I am asked by some people about their relationships or lack of them. The answers to these questions can help you to better understand the Law of Attraction in terms of helping you to find your ideal mate.

Q. What kind of complaints do you most often hear about finding your ideal partner?

What I most often hear is that attracting their ideal mate is that it is a hard thing to do. I repeatedly hear things like there are no good men or women left, or that people keep attracting less than desirable dates.

However, halfway through the class these people get their "Ahh-Hah!" breakthrough moment! They learn that not getting their ideal relationship or partner has nothing to do with the availability of the 'good' ones, but that it is all about the vibrations they've been sending out.

Q. What is missing from the traditional matchmaking and online dating services?

These services are mostly concerned with what physical attributes you are most attracted to: tall, dark, handsome, busty, pretty, slender etc. However, the Law of Attraction matches people by their vibrations. An ideal dating service would be one that helped people to attract their perfect match by helping them to first begin within themselves. In other words, whatever vibration a person would want their ideal mate to have, they would first begin by creating that vibration first within themselves so that Law of Attraction can match it!

Q. Can you give any suggestions on how single people can their ideal partner?

The most ironic thing is that knowing what you didn't like about a past partner or a past date is very very useful information. You can use what you've experienced to help you get crystal clear about the kind of mate you do want. For example, if you don't want someone who works too much what is it that you do you want? If you don't want someone who is not the boring type what do you want? If you don't want someone who is not interested in dancing, or who is not romantic, or not a good listener etc., whatis it that you do you want?

Knowing what it is that you don't want will help you 'birth' more clarity about what you do want and this clarity becomes your new and specific desire! It also feels fantastic when you when you get clear about what it is you want. This new clarity has now become your heartfelt desire which is the first step to manifesting your ideal mate. I

Q. What's is happening if your desire for a ideal partner is not manifesting?

The first thing you need to know is that you're not offering a pure vibration of the way you want it to be. As a result the Law of Attraction cannot respond to it. In other words, you are saying that you want this certain type of person but you are sending out vibrations contrary to your desire. One way to check what vibrations you are offering is to observe what you are currently receiving in your life. It's always a perfect match to whatever you are offering vibrationally.

The second thing you need to realize is that most people tend to be scorekeepers and they tend to keep score about what isn't happening instead of what is. When you do that you are focusing on what isn't there and you are giving out the energy vibration of what isn't happening, more of your energy, attention and focus!

Q. What do people need to do to correct that?

Every time you catch yourself observing or thinking about what it is that you don't want, take your attention away from it! The easiest way to do this is to say to yourself, "So what is it that I do I want?"

I know it sounds simple, but the truth is that is! When you change your observation from what you don't want to what you do want, your entire vibration changes. When you change your vibration, the results will change too!

Next, for those of you who are scorekeepers, make a conscious effort to begin to notice when you are observing the lack of attracting your ideal mate. If you stop keeping score of what you are not attracting you will stop giving it your attention, energy and focus. Your job is to look for the parts of a relationship or the characteristics of a date that are matching your desire list and give those your full attention! Your vibration will change and the Law of Attraction will bring you more of the same!

Q. What should you do when you get home from a disastrous date?

First of all don't tell anyone! Don't email your friends about it! Don't talk about it with your girlfriends! Don't write about it in your journal. Remember that the Law of Attraction doesn't know if you are remembering something or complaining about it, or worrying about it. The Law of Attraction will simply bring you more of whatever it is you are focusing on!

So, come home from your date…build a list of all the things that you didn't like about your dating experience and convert each item of contrast on your list into another thing that you clearly want.

And then with your new clarity list add it to those things that you would like in an your ideal date.

If it didn't feel right on the first date, it usually will not get any better. Your first impressions are usually the right one so simply move on to the next date, learn fro it and adding new information to your list if necessary each time. You'll know when you've found your ideal mate by how it feels!

The Law of Attraction in relationships is a matter of what type of vibrations you are sending out. Remember that like attracts like. Match up your feelings and emotions with what it is that you want in an ideal relationship and watch how quickly and easily you manifest that ideal mate into your life.

## If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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10 Principles for Living a More Powerful and Enriched Life

As one of my spiritual teachers and mentors, Wayne Dyer has continued to be a rich source of inspiration and knowledge to me. The following are some thought provoking and wisdom packed notes for you to learn and enjoy.

10 principles for living a more powerful and enriching life:

1) Have a mind which is open and attached to nothing- There are no boundaries.
- Put your thoughts on what you want. If your thoughts are on what others think of you, you will become that.
- Never focus on the problem more than a few moments.
- Focus and put your thoughts off of what is and put on what you intend to manifest.
- Look at what you believe is impossible and rewrite your agreement with reality and make it possible for you.
- Live your life detached from outcome. I am not motivated by the outcome. I am not motivated by other people's approval.

2) Don't die with your music still in you - You come into the world with nothing and you leave the world with nothing, you cannot have anything. The only thing you can do with your life is give it away, serve others.
- Meditate of earth without you on it and you will see what you want to do while you are alive.
- Move into the direction of serving. Your job is not to say how? but say 'YES'.

3) You can't give away what you don't have- Love yourself to give away love.
- Energy comes in low and high and moves fast and slow. Everything is energy. There are no and vibrating at a frequency. Meditation slows down thought and raises your frequency.problems, there is only energy moving. Low energy thoughts weaken us. Spiritual energy is the fastest energy in the universe. All problems show up in the world of solid (slow energy). If we bring spiritual energy (fast energy) the problem is solved. Bring higher and faster energy in presence of slower and lower energy.
- Appreciate rather than depreciate, moves you into synchronicity with Energy of love,cheerfulness,kindness, peace( higher energy), when this energy is brought into your problems then problems cannot survive.
- You are energy which is moving
-The problem with force is it creates counter force. If you react to these lower energies you create a magnified lower field, instead of reacting, act with higher energy.
- If you die while you are alive (detach yourself from what people think), you enter into the world of spirit. And bring that higher energy in this world.

4) Embrace silence- Sound is made by silence between the notes. Meditate everyday and put your attention and energy to what you intend to manifest with passion and then surrender and let go.
- Surface of the pond has disturbance but deep below the pond there is calmness. Same with your mind it is full of chatter reduce the thoughts by meditation.
- Whatever it is you want to create it is out of the void. You can never divide the silence. Creation happens with the gap between thoughts.

5) Give up your personal history- Is it possible for the wake to drive the boat? No. Thus is also true for your life. The boat is driven in the present moment by the motor. Thank for all the past falls and struggles. Your life is going the way it is because of the choices you have made.
- Build yourself to be free from what somebody will say or think or use against you. Friends, relatives, parents, peers, girls, co-workers.
- Self-reliance...learn to rely on yourself, and get things done by yourself.
- Do not spend your time thinking about your past or facts of your life.
- Don't bond to your wounds or stick to your labels.
- Live in now free with love of god.
- Don't be bonded to the past. Do not use it to get attention to yourself. Its about letting it all go. I can never fail at anything.

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Goal Setting: 3 Daily Habits You Must Have to Achieve Your Goal

Your daily habits determine your destiny. "Success is the small sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out," says author Robert Collier.

Habits are an interesting thing. Your habits are actually patterns that your subconscious mind runs on an automatic basis.  These patterns if consciously directed can bring you an enormous amount of pleasure and satisfaction; such as with the habit of exercise, the habit of thinking in terms of the positives, and the habit of eating the right foods. But your habits can also be destructive if you don’t consciously recognize how they are directing your life.

In my own life I often felt that I had little time to write and do the things I really loved to do that increased the quality and fun in my day to day routine. This all changed once I realized my excessive television watching habits. When my day was over my habit was to sit my butt down in front of the television, and more often than not, spending four to five hours watching mindless entertainment. I actually cringed when I realized that twenty to thirty hours of my time per week was wasted in front of the old boob tube.

As with your daily habits, your success habits can also be constructive or destructive if you do not consciously make an effort to implement some daily habits into your life that will help you to stay focused on what it is that you want to achieve.

Here are three daily habits that you must have to stay on course and to achieve your hearts desire:

1. Discipline. Discipline yourself to look at your goals daily. This helps you to stay focused not only what it is you want, but also why it is important to you.
2. Persistence. Develop persistence. Create daily action steps towards the accomplishment of your goals and follow through until they are completed. Each step you complete is one step closer to achieving your goal.
3. Belief. Believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. Create a ritual everyday in which you remind yourself that you deserve what you want, that can achieve what you want, and that your outcome is achievable and possible to you. You can do this by positive affirmations. The habit of positive self-talk is an invaluable ally for success in any area of life.

The habit of success needs to be reinforced until it becomes a habit. Don't let negative habits run your life by default and ruin your chances of living an empowered and victorious life. Use the power of disciple, persistence, and belief to your advantage today and achieve massive results in your life now!

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If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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