Work-Life Rebalance In 3 Simple Steps

That day I dreamed I had a "normal" life.  I remember staring out my office window at exactly 5:00 PM on a Friday evening. Happy, smiling people poured outside the building entrance and into the parking structures, ready to embrace their weekend.

I look at my overflowing in bin, and sigh. My eyes settle upon my carefully planned Day Timer as it beckons me to get back to work. I sigh again. There has to be something more to life than work! 

"Sooner or later, we all have to find a way to find a good work-life balance." says freelance writer and workplace wellness consultant Mike Martin.

"If not, we find that work takes up so much of our life that there is little time left for anything else. Or, we pay a much greater price in terms of our physical, mental, or emotional well-being."

I couldn't agree more.  I stare at the can of diet coke, and the half eaten Snickers Bar on my desk. I have a headache, my neck hurts, and I wonder why I am working so hard on all this "stuff", because on my death bed I certainly will not be thinking about my work deadlines! 

The naked awareness shakes me.  I get up, grab my coat and make a vow from that day forward to make my work my play, and to reclaim my life.

In a recent article MikeMartin shares 3 simple yet practical ways to re-balance your life and your work.  If you are currently feeling like you are all work and no play, these steps will help you to take a step back, rethink, refocus, and refresh.

Read the full article here to discover three simple lessons on work-life balance.

If you found these tips relevant - leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts!


## Copyright 2014, by Dar Payment. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People

One of the many reasons why people lose confidence and power in dealing with people is because they are too overly concerned with what other people may think. They feel they won't be liked if they said what was on their mind. What these people really are doing is making up an excuse in order to attempt to avoid conflict; the very conflict that they need to provide the learning experience of inner growth, knowledge and confidence for dealing with people in the first place.

Conflict management, or managing the conflict of ideas and thoughts between two or more people, can be an incredible learning experience for everyone involved, so much information is revealed in these intense periods that if we can learn to keep our integrity in tack during these short bursts of emotion, common ground can be quickly found.

However, if your confidence and power in dealing with people is somewhat watery at best, here are three tips to clarify your thinking and get you back on track.

1. What Do You Want Confidence And Power For?

You interact with different people on a daily basis, and you need cooperation from these people because you know you cannot do it all alone. You also expect a certain amount of reciprocal behavior to get to where you want to be, so it would be beneficial to know what your motives are for persuading people over to your way of thinking?

2. What Is Your Attitude Towards Conflict?

True self-confidence is developed from the act of carrying out a successful task that has an element of personal risk or challenge. Confidence is also about disagreeing or saying no without feeling guilty in situations where you have strong opinions; to stand up for oneself so to speak. So if someone violates your space in some way, do you take the courage or confidence to take responsibility for the situation and speak up or do you just ‘let it go’…again?

3. Preparation Is The Key

One of the key secrets to real confident behavior is preparation, look at the words you are habitually using and prepare your speech in advance. Learn to be speak with authority, maybe even take a few singing lessons to develop vocal power. Develop a mental picture of your successful self, speaking confidently with the desired outcome.

Dealing with people effectively is a skill that can be learned and developed over time, at some point, you will have to get started, you will have go up to someone and say your piece, even if you stand their dumb struck and your face turns crimson with embarrassment, the first step has to be taken. If you feel nervous or shaky about doing this, you need to feel the fear and do it anyway, if its on your mind, the time will come when you will have to act, go in, do it with the expectation you are going to get it all wrong, but it is never as bad as you think it is going to be. One thing is for sure, conflict is a learning experience, you will learn more about confidence in one session than a lifetime of reading books or articles on the subject.

Remember, confidence is an attitude, a skill set that is learned and developed through application, a state of mind that can be achieved through deliberate consistent actions. You might be naturally shy or quiet and think real confidence is beyond you, but personal confidence can be one of your greatest assets. Learn to believe in yourself and your abilities, it is not easy, you will only gain power and the mental toughness needed through struggle, there is no short cut. You will only learn and grow through the challenge of getting started.

Make no mistake, to act with deliberate intention and say what needs to be said will require consistent effort on your part, you must rehearse what needs to be said, like a musician performing a great song, they had to rehearse once upon a time. Great speeches or monologues are not 'winged,' there is always great preparation that is goes unseen, which can give you the misconception of 'they were born that way', when this is in fact, far from the truth.

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Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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How to Eliminate Worry and Achieve Peace of Mind

A friend has this quotation on his office wall: "I know worry works because nothing I worry about ever happens."

I think I believe and resonate with those words of wisdom because I used to worry a lot -- and about the most insignificant things. I would worry about the big things as well of course, like health, relationships, and finances. But I used also fret about anything and everything that found its way into my consciousness.

Because I spent so much time on worry, I decided to embrace it and deal with it by turning it into a learning project. With and open mind and spirit, and with much research here is what I learned and applied in my life with significant results:

1. Notice when worry took out its running shoes and take a spin around my mind. 

Here is what I did - I would practice catching myself at it and say, "Hey, I'm worrying again." Once during my worry project while on my daily morning power walk, I caught myself worrying 10 times! I'm not kidding. What also learned during my worry project was that on those rare days when I didn't have anything to worry about, I would find something. What I've learned at the conclusion of my worry project is that worry is a mental habit that can be changed. I also rememberedh that I have the power to change my mental habits; and you do too, so take heart because there's hope.

2. Practice being the center of the Universe.

My second approach was to practice presence. By this I mean stopping my thoughts. In my workshops, I ring a bell to help participants practice mental and physical centering. The quieter we are, the longer we hear the bell. There's a lovely moment when we all listen . . . until the ring is barely audible . . . then just a memory. I relish that moment of quiet before my thoughts reengage. There is no future or past, just Now. No worrying thoughts -- no thoughts at all. It's a peaceful place, which is why I always attempt to stretch the moment. I want to strengthen the connection to something greater than my worries.

When I told my good friend Chang, a retired Buddhist Nun, about my worry project, she shared with me her approach, which is to do one of three things: decide to address the issue right then; if you can't do anything about it at the moment, give yourself a time to address it later; or decide that it is not important and let it go. In other words, act on it, file it or throw it away.

Finally, one of Chang's favorite worry stoppers (and mine) is to sing. Connect with your self, your creativity, and the place where everything really is okay by raising your voice in song.

Awareness and acknowledgment are the keys to changing your habits. Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of the martial art of Aikido spoke awareness as the 'Art of Peace', and said that we must "always practice the Art of Peace in a vibrant and joyful manner." One thing my worry project did was to help me to lighten up, laugh, and to smile, and to live each day in peace and joy.

Are you worrying? Take the time right now to stop your thoughts for a moment. Listen to the sounds around you, pay attention, and be present to this key moment. And smile for no reason at all, because you may find that's the best reason of all.


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Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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