Motivation: The 3 P's That Hold You Back From Success

Do you set your standards high, but always feel like you've failed? Learn about the 3 "P's" and end the vicious cycle that keeps you stuck and ineffective.

The Vicious Cycle

Perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis - one often leads to the next, in a vicious cycle, especially on large, long-term projects with no clear deadlines. Let's look at each part of this cycle, and explore some concrete steps that you can take to disrupt the cycle.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be defined as striving towards impossibly high goals. Perfectionists are caught in a trap, they can never be good enough. They engage in rigid, black or white thinking about their own performance, if it isn't perfect, it's horrible.

Ironically, perfectionists often achieve a product that is far less than perfect. At times, their performance is mediocre. In contrast, those who aim at more realistic goals can outperform the perfectionists. How can this be? The procrastination and paralysis that results from overly high standards causes the perfectionist to wait until it's too late, then rush to do something; anything. The more relaxed realist, in the meantime, is able to put an effort in earlier, over a more prolonged period of time, with more chance to let time and subsequent changes or editing improve the final product.

Procrastination

When you believe that your next project should set the world on fire, you are setting yourself up for failure. At some level you know that this level of achievement is unlikely. You lose your energy and excitement for your project.

On a football field, when the coach yells at the team that they are a bunch of @$#% for playing so poorly, the players may play better. That is because they are enraged at being humiliated and they can use the rage to batter their opponents. This doesn't not work in other spheres! Criticism, whether from your boss or your own inner critical audience slows you down, and interferes with your thinking process.

It is so easy to put off the next step of your project when thinking about it makes you experience unpleasant feelings. So you procrastinate. "I'll get started tomorrow, and work twice as hard." But it's hard for you to ignore the fact that you are not living up to your own high expectations for yourself. "I'm lazy." "I have no will power." As time goes on, you start to grind to a halt.

That leads to the third "P." Paralysis You do absolutely nothing on the very project that is most important to you. This is devastating for your self-esteem, and very discouraging. It's hard to plan your next project when you failed to complete your last one.

How to Avoid the 3 "P's" There are steps that you can take to avoid falling into the vicious cycle of the 3 "P's":

Become aware of the perfectionist audience voices in your head (no, you're not crazy.) You can't learn to ignore them if you don't know that they're talking to you.

Learn how to answer them back (don't do it out loud or people will think you're crazy.) An example would be, “OK it's not my best work but at least I'm finishing it.”

Look for role models who are satisfied with "good enough." Note how they get things done and are not looked down on by others.

Set up realistic goals. One way to tell if a goal is realistic is if you can actually do it. For example, "Read two articles and write for 15 minutes before 5:00 tonight" is a realistic goal. "Read two articles and write for 6 hours and write 10 pages before 5:00 tonight" is not a realistic goal.

If you have reached the third "P," drastic steps are needed. Talk to a trusted friend, find a "project buddy," or seek coaching. Do Not Give Up. It is very possible to get yourself out of the paralyzed state and back to productivity with just a little help.

A Final "P." Or Maybe Two Productivity Start with baby steps. Do a little every day. As you observe your own productivity, however small it may be, you will start to feel better about yourself. You were capable all along – it's just that your unrealistic expectations stopped you from functioning optimally. Eventually your productivity will start to look like Progress. And that's the last "P" for today.

##

Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

Highly Effective Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination

In this day and age we are so inundated with choice and opportunity that you might even say that we are spoiled for choice. There is just so much that we could do that we often end up not doing anything at all. Procrastination is one of the biggest dream killers. In a world where there is so much demand on your attention it is becoming ever more difficult to stay focused and act on the things that would truly give you an extraordinary quality of life. Time is, was and will always be your most valuable asset and the way you use it will determine what you create or fail to create with and for your life. Having an effective strategy for overcoming procrastination is critical if you truly want to push past short term obstacles to create a life of fulfillment.

The abundance that modern life offers us tends to overwhelm us which leads to an emotional overload that will distract you and scatter your effort and concentration. There simply isn't enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time for the most important things in your life. Success at anything in life, whether it be your finances, your relationships or your body, requires an investment of time and effort from you. You need to focus and concentrate your physical and emotional resources on creating a desired result.

The first step in overcoming procrastination it to get really clear on exactly what you want from every area of your life. This clarity will give you the power to look past distractions that may throw you off course. It gives you a direction and a target and will help to build a mental picture for your life. One of the most destructive effects of procrastination is that it makes you feel out of control; like the events of your life is controlling you. If you don't know what you want it is all too easy to jump from the one task to the next. Apart from knowing what you want you should also develop some strong reasons why you want it. This will give you a sense of purpose and motivation that is critical for staying focused long term.

The truth is that most people know what they need to do to create their life the way they want it. The challenge is not with knowing what to do, but in doing what you know. The only way you will create any result in your life is by taking action and procrastination is what prevents you from acting on the very things you know would give you a greater quality of life. The reason why people procrastinate is primarily because of fear, especially fear of failure. By not taking action and postponing important actions you avoid the potential for failing. The only reason why you procrastinate about anything is because at some level you link more pain to taking action than to not taking action. The ridiculous truth is that these "links" are mostly conjured up (by you) in your mind and they are not even real. When you make a task too big in your mind it will overwhelm you and it would seem too difficult and too big and you will end up procrastinating.

One of the most powerful strategies for overcoming procrastination is to learn how to break your tasks up into bite size pieces. Any task, no matter how big can be broken down into small manageable tasks that is easy to do. If you focus on climbing Mount Everest it will probably put you off immediately, but if you focus on climbing seven small mountain sections it becomes more believable. The power of chunking down your "big" tasks empowers you to take back control of any overwhelming situation – you cut it down to size. Your size.

One of the quickest ways to overcoming procrastination is to learn and utilize the power of immediacy. What can you do immediately? What action can you take right now that will move you closer to your goal? Doing something, no matter how small, will immediately break your mental pattern of procrastination and put you back in control. Taking the first step, even if it is small will create momentum and you will almost automatically be driven to take another step. Don't wait for everything to be perfect before you take the first step. Just do it. Just get it going. Often you will only know what to do next after taking that first step.

There are many strategies and skills you can use for overcoming procrastination. You don not have to be stuck or spinning your wheels. Like any skill you need to learn and practice it until you get good at it. Eventually it will become an automatic response and you will develop the habit of taking action despite your fears and apparent limitations.


##
Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

Crush Procastination with Purpose!

Are you a perfectionist? Let me reveal to you this important fact. Perfectionism can hinder you from achieving excellence at anything you do.

Usually, perfectionists are procrastinators. They don't start unless everything is just perfect. They don't even finish a task. They keep on delaying and putting it aside because it is not perfect yet.

Don't ever fall in this trap. The most difficult step is the first. Nothing should be perfect. The most interesting thing is that nothing would ever be perfect.

You must start with whatever resources you have at hand, then improve and grow. You must jump into the field and gain experience that you would never gain if you stay at your place putting perfect plans!

Here is one of my favorite quotes:

"Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better." ~ Pat Riley, Basketball Coach

Strive to do better and you will become excellent at what you do. Stop procrastination and waiting for everything to be perfect.

What gives you the motivation to start and take bold actions is having a clear purpose in life. When you have a true meaning for your life and passion for a big dream, you couldn't wait for things to be perfect. Instead you create your opportunities. The fire of passion drives you.

Having a purpose makes you fundamentally unstoppable. You are motivated to start and strive to become and do better along the way. If you have a purpose that fires your soul you would never sit and wait for circumstances or things around you to become perfect.

You will recognize that life is short and that you have to take action now.

When you live a purpose driven life, and understand that excellence can only be achieved by striving to do better every single day, then you are on the right track to achieve great results and massive success.

A purpose driven life is critical for you to overcome procrastination and perfectionism.

The power of your purpose will motivate you to take immediate actions. Life is short and success is a journey. You can never reach your destination without taking the first step!


##
Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

The 3 Golden Rules of Motivation

Why is motivation important? Whether you are trying to achieve something yourself or lead others towards an achievement, the ability to be self-motivated or to motivate is crucial.

When we meet people who are regarded as successful or high achievers, it is tempting to assume that they are innately self-driven, or are natural leaders with high levels of motivational ability. This may well be the case, but it is just as likely that they have learned and used some effective techniques for either motivating themselves or to motivate others.

The benefits of motivation to an individual are fairly obvious - people who are motivated tend to be more successful in achieving their personal and professional goals, which in turn has benefits in terms of their self-esteem and confidence. Given that people are usually the most important asset of any organization, motivation is also a critical factor in the overall success of a team or business.

The 3 Golden Rules of Motivation

Motivation does not take place on its own. In order to be motivated or to motivate others, it is important to remember three golden rules of motivation before considering any specific techniques.

1. Motivation is impossible without clear achievable goals. Motivation and goal setting are inextricably linked. Without a goal or purpose, motivation is meaningless, whilst motivation is a vital part of intentionally achieving any goal. Two of the most basic motivators are to know exactly what you are trying to achieve, and to then go out and achieve it. Not having a clear idea of your goal or not believing that a goal is attainable will severely dent your motivation.

2. Motivation and goals need to be in alignment at every level. How often have you felt that you have been performing well or doing a good job, only to be told by your manager or colleagues that you have been focusing on the wrong thing, that priorities have changed or that you have simply been under performing?

For example, imagine an experienced sales person who has an excellent track record of retaining business with their established customers, but is heavily criticized by their manager for failing to develop as much new business as their less experienced colleague. As a result, the sales person feels alienated, undervalued and ultimately demotivated. Their performance and results are likely to suffer. The chances are that there has been a lack of dialogue between the manager and the sales person over how individual goals need to fit with the overall goals of the company. If the emphasis is on generating new business, has this been communicated effectively to each sales person, and in a manner which will motivate each of them to succeed?

Every business needs motivated employees in order to be successful and achieve its goals. If employee motivation is not closely matched to these business goals, the chances of success are diminished.

3. Motivation is neither fixed nor infinite. Motivation is not a one time event. Something which provides motivation at one particular time may not be as effective in the future, due to changes in environment and circumstances. If someone is driven to become the best in their field, how do they maintain their motivation to perform once they reach the pinnacle of their profession?

Even if circumstances remain constant, the most powerful motivational factors will lose impact over the course of time. For instance, you may attend a conference and feel energized by a particular speaker or meeting, and leave the event highly motivated to put what you have heard into action. How long will the impact of what you heard last before you slip back into old ways of doing things?

Motivation is a constant process that needs your undivided and focused attention. As you progress on towards achieving your heartfelt goals keep in mind these 3 Golden Rules of Motivation, and remember that motivation is your greatest ally for continued success and achievement in any area of your life.

##

Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

Motivation: A.I.M. To Achieve What You Want

In my experience I have found that many people procrastinate and/or don't carry through at all because they believe that they need to be motivatied to do a thing first in order for them to forge forward. This is the number one common misunderstanding in the science of success and achievement.

In my own life, I used to think that once I received the motivation to get started that I would do it then. One day I realized that this errant attitude caused me to miss out on a lot of wonderful things in life due to inaction. On this particular day a good friend called me to tell me that she had just finished her book manuscript and was in the process of finding an agent. I was happy for her, but as I hung up the telephone I also felt crushed. One of my projects at the time was also a book, but I had yet to sit down and write it. This is when I was introduced to the concept of Action, Ideas, Motivation, or A.I.M. for short.

The Motivation Cycle

This thought occurred to me "If I only work on this book project while I feel like it will take me forever".  This thought shocked me and that nearly ended my book writing project. Without the stimulating 'high' of motivation the task seemed to enormous for me to tackle. Give up! Give up! Pestered the little voice in my head. I think it is human nature to subconsciously take the easy route, to do the more pleasurable things in life and leave the difficult things to last or just hope they go away. I was torn between wanting to complete the book I had persevered with for so long and quitting all together so I could accomplish something easier.

I suppose my motivation cycle like most others would go from high to low. The high producing a burst of frantic effort and activity followed by a burn out where you are physically, mentally and creatively drained. I found this took a long time to recover from and it had a demotivating effect. The problem was the time when I was not motivated; I was not motivated a lot longer than I was motivated. Stoking up the motivation to write and continue pushing your brain to work after a hard days graft 'at the day job' is very difficult.

Just doing the time filling, wasteful things like watching TV takes its place all to easy.

Several months quickly passed me by, and my mind continued to troubled me about not continuing with the book and then . . .

A Eureka moment came at 4 o'clock one morning when I awoke with a moment of clarity that often follows a good night sleep when the mind does that marvelous peculiarity of unraveling and sorting the problems and discourse of the day.

The real issue was not how to get motivated more. It was what to do when I was not motivated.The question was how can I to motivate myself to work at something for an hour or two following a hard days work?  The answer was simple DON'T!  Don't wait for the motivation, just take some action every day whether you feel like it or not. The action to take is 'do the next task' and don't try to eat elephants whole! Split the project into smaller, bite sized, more manageable and less daunting chunks.

The Habit of Taking Action

In practice I found to my delight reduced periods of energy sapping high motivation and the inevitable unmotivated down time that followed. It was replaced with a steady state where you are achieving on a regular basis, motivated or not.

To start with, it will take will power and effort, but if you persevere and keep doing it, it will embed in your subconscious and become habitual. You will be able to carry out the task with hardly a conscious thought.

My preference was to come in from the day job, get a drink (green tea!) and then just do the next task, which could be research, writing up, editing, whatever useful task needed to be done (sharpening pencils does not count as a task!!!). Doing your scheduled tasks at the same time of day everyday trains your mind and body to anticipate what is going to happen next and become habit forming.

Once I had acquired this habit of taking action the new pages to the book started to accumulate along with new ideas and inspiration. Seeing the book starting to take shape after so long then motivated me to do more and help reinforce the habit of taking action.

If you want to achieve something just do the next task.  Ideas and motivation do not just happen you need to AIM for them by applying the concept of Action, Ideas, and Motivation in your daily life.

##
If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources.

Read More

10 Ways to Kick Procrastination in the Butt

A survey (by the University of Chicago) suggested that those who relish challenge are more likely to live up to 10 years longer than those who spend their lives inhibited by timidity.

Trying to realize our ambitions, even if we don't always meet them, is preferable to not having the courage or motivation to take the risk. So not making any resolutions because we fear that we'll break them is having a defeatist attitude, as we allow procrastination to become an insidious habit which stops us from leading more fulfilling lives.

The following offers 10 ways to kick the procrastination habit:

1. Personal values development.

Take the time to find out what you really want in life, what your personal values are. Do you want more time, more money, better health, greater self esteem and confidence, more fulfilling relationships, a different career, set up a business? When we procrastinate it's often because what we are planning to do is not really aligned with what we truly want. We may be scared of our skills (or perceived lack of) or fear ridicule from others.

2. Make health and high energy levels a priority.
Without good health we are less likely to have the energy and dynamism needed to make positive changes in our lives and it's easier (and necessary if you're very ill) to procrastinate. So ensure that you have a nourishing diet, sleep well, exercise and meditate. Incidentally, it is thought that regular meditation helps delay the worst effects of the aging process.

3. Visualize your life without procrastination.
See and feel the benefits in your life if you didn't procrastinate. What could you do and achieve? Begin to act as if you're not a procrastinator. Write down, draw, imagine your life as a film. Use affirmations to help you.

4. Banish the Gremlin.
That little voice which runs on auto in your head - that dismisses any idea that you might have. It says things like "I'm not in the mood" "I don't have time" "I can't do this". Stop running on auto, replace the "should's" "oughts" "have tos" with "want to" "desire". You have a choice. Acknowledge your choices and banish the Gremlin. Again, using affirmations can help you replace the Gremlin with more positive alternatives.

5. Over commitment.
Saying "yes" to everything - often leaves you feeling tired and without the energy to focus on what is most important to you. This leads to procrastination as projects and tasks are dropped. Identify what is most important to you and only focus on those areas which will make the biggest difference to your life. It will enhance your focus and motivation.

6. Set personal and professional goals.
It's hard to motivate yourself when you don't have a good idea of what you want to accomplish. So when setting goals think about what you want to achieve in the short term and long term. Techniques for doing so include the SMART strategy. S = specific M = measurable A= Action R = Realistic T = Time based. Use goal setting software to help you in goal planning and setting.

7. Prioritize Your Goals.
Develop a plan or schedule to help you reach your goals. In doing so you will begin to identify whether some elements need to be included or enhanced or dropped completely. Also remember to be flexible, revisit your goals regularly and modify or drop if appropriate. Just because a goal is written down doesn't mean that it is set in stone!

8. Divide and conquer.
Once you've prioritized your goals, divide them into smaller chunks. Sometimes we procrastinate because a project seems really large that the scale of it overwhelms us and puts us into a temporary form of paralysis - you don't know where to start, so you don't start at all! Approach each project - especially large ones - on a step by step basis.

9. Reward yourself.
Once you start to complete tasks, reward yourself by giving yourself something that you want. So instead of seeing a film before you complete a task, see it afterward and make it a reward for you.

10. Just get started.
No excuses. Don't wait until you're "in the mood". The mood never comes! It is a clever camouflage and a delaying tactic. What you resist persists! Start with what is easiest, so that you experience immediate success, which will give you the fuel and motivation to upgrade and take on larger projects.

Do any of the above and you'll be well on your way to Kicking the Procrastination Habit. And if you're procrastinating over doing any of the above, then remember that life is the biggest deadline of all!

##

If you would like some additional information on self improvement and success go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources.

Read More