Personal Magnetism: How to Make Yourself Memorable

Have you ever had the experience of meeting someone for the first time and being totally being captivated by their personal magnetism and excitement for life?  These types of people create an instant good impression on you and as a result become memorable.

Being a memorable person means be an unforgettable person.  And it doesn’t take a genius to recognize the advantage of developing an extraordinary pleasing persona in relation to your business and career, as well as with your everyday personal relationships.
 
The wonderful thing is that is that you can hack the learning curve in developing your personal magnetism and charisma by applying a few overlooked strategies in your everyday personal interactions with everyone you come into contact with. 

Cesar Pavese once said said, “We do not remember days, we remember moments.”

How then can you become the type of person that creates memorable moments; a person who is compelling and charismatic?  Here a few useful and effective ways to get you started:

Live with passion!  A memorable person enjoys life and living, and shares that passion in everything he or she does, or says. Their body language, words, and expressions are those of enthusiasm and joy, and that zeal radiates out to everyone they come into contact with. 

This type of fervor is contagious, and shifts people’s emotional state to one of positive receptivity.  Modern psychology teaches that the most effective form of influence is learning how to shift and control a person’s emotional state.  The easiest way to do this is to make sure that you lead first with the positive and uplifting emotional state that you would like others to respond to.

Be a great listener.  Being a great listener means genuinely becoming interested in other people.  Years ago, when I was a young attorney attempting to procure clients I did what most newbie business men and women do – I read books and attended courses that would help me to increase my bottom line.  One of the books I read was the classic by Dale Carnegie, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”  One of the chapters shares this important point of becoming sincerely interested in people. Carnegie states that one of the first ways to do this is by learning to be a great listener. 
I decided to put this insightful tip to the test one night as I met a potential client for dinner.  This client was dubbed ‘the geezer grouch’ by some of my colleagues who were unsuccessful in acquiring his business. 

Usually I was the one who led and controlled the conversation, but on this particular night I decided to just listen and ask questions. The results I had were absolutely shocking. 

My potential client, an older gentleman, was a successful business manufacturer who owned several manufacturing plants throughout the country.  I began our dinner by asking him a simple question – ‘how did you get interested in your type of work?’ 

Three hours seemed to vanish as this gentleman shared with me a fascinating rag to riches story, gave me some valuable tips on business success, shared with me the titles of some great self-improvement books, and in the end not only did this gentleman become one of my regular clients, but also sent to me several lucrative referrals.  At the end of our dinner he shook my hand and told me, ‘you know you are a great conversationalist’ – yet all I had done throughout our entire meal was to listen and ask him questions!

Share your adventures with others, tell a great story.  People have been telling and listening to stories since the dawn of time. And people love to hear stories that encourage, inspire, and motivate them.  Everyone remembers a great story.

When you share your stories with other people you become memorable because stories keep people engaged in the moment by moment drama.  Professional speaker Patricia Fripp says, “Stories are the creative conversion of life itself, into a more powerful, clearer, more meaningful experience.”  Great stories move, entertain, instruct, and inspire people to increase the quality of their lives.

I have a journal and I enjoy recording things that I encountered during the day that were funny, motivating, inspiring, encouraging, or that have emotionally moved me in some way.  These experiences are either personally observed or personally experienced; but they always have a positive outcome. 
Share your great life stories with others. But here is one caveat, people want to hear stories about the fabulous, and if you want to be memorable and to influence others you need to omit stories of failure unless they have a positive outcome.

Being a memorable person means being an influential person.  Groom your personal magnetism and charisma daily by applying these effective strategies in your interpersonal relationships until they become a habit.  You will not only find your sphere of influence increasing each day, but also find that your life is more interesting, personally enriched, and financially prosperous as well.

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Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People

One of the many reasons why people lose confidence and power in dealing with people is because they are too overly concerned with what other people may think. They feel they won't be liked if they said what was on their mind. What these people really are doing is making up an excuse in order to attempt to avoid conflict; the very conflict that they need to provide the learning experience of inner growth, knowledge and confidence for dealing with people in the first place.

Conflict management, or managing the conflict of ideas and thoughts between two or more people, can be an incredible learning experience for everyone involved, so much information is revealed in these intense periods that if we can learn to keep our integrity in tack during these short bursts of emotion, common ground can be quickly found.

However, if your confidence and power in dealing with people is somewhat watery at best, here are three tips to clarify your thinking and get you back on track.

1. What Do You Want Confidence And Power For?

You interact with different people on a daily basis, and you need cooperation from these people because you know you cannot do it all alone. You also expect a certain amount of reciprocal behavior to get to where you want to be, so it would be beneficial to know what your motives are for persuading people over to your way of thinking?

2. What Is Your Attitude Towards Conflict?

True self-confidence is developed from the act of carrying out a successful task that has an element of personal risk or challenge. Confidence is also about disagreeing or saying no without feeling guilty in situations where you have strong opinions; to stand up for oneself so to speak. So if someone violates your space in some way, do you take the courage or confidence to take responsibility for the situation and speak up or do you just ‘let it go’…again?

3. Preparation Is The Key

One of the key secrets to real confident behavior is preparation, look at the words you are habitually using and prepare your speech in advance. Learn to be speak with authority, maybe even take a few singing lessons to develop vocal power. Develop a mental picture of your successful self, speaking confidently with the desired outcome.

Dealing with people effectively is a skill that can be learned and developed over time, at some point, you will have to get started, you will have go up to someone and say your piece, even if you stand their dumb struck and your face turns crimson with embarrassment, the first step has to be taken. If you feel nervous or shaky about doing this, you need to feel the fear and do it anyway, if its on your mind, the time will come when you will have to act, go in, do it with the expectation you are going to get it all wrong, but it is never as bad as you think it is going to be. One thing is for sure, conflict is a learning experience, you will learn more about confidence in one session than a lifetime of reading books or articles on the subject.

Remember, confidence is an attitude, a skill set that is learned and developed through application, a state of mind that can be achieved through deliberate consistent actions. You might be naturally shy or quiet and think real confidence is beyond you, but personal confidence can be one of your greatest assets. Learn to believe in yourself and your abilities, it is not easy, you will only gain power and the mental toughness needed through struggle, there is no short cut. You will only learn and grow through the challenge of getting started.

Make no mistake, to act with deliberate intention and say what needs to be said will require consistent effort on your part, you must rehearse what needs to be said, like a musician performing a great song, they had to rehearse once upon a time. Great speeches or monologues are not 'winged,' there is always great preparation that is goes unseen, which can give you the misconception of 'they were born that way', when this is in fact, far from the truth.

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Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

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4 Power Packed Tips to Help You to Crush Fear and Anxiety!

Some people have a difficult time managing their anxieties and fears, which often results in low self esteem and self-confidence. As a result, not only does low self esteem and low self-confidence carry over into other areas of your life such as in your career, and in your relationship with others, but it can also affect your motivation to carve out a life of success and achievement. This means that if you want to put your best foot forward in life and to be effective that you must learn to manage your fears and anxiety.

The truth is that you can decide to manage your fears and anxieties or you can let them manage you! To crush fear and anxiety you must choose to take control by facing your fears and breaking through them. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."

Here are four valuable tips you can apply in your life starting today to help you effectively manage your fears and anxieties, and that will you to help to raise your self esteem:

1. Exercise patience and persistence with yourself. Remember that practice makes perfect. Whenever it comes to dealing with your anxieties or any other task; practice, patience, and persistence is the name of the game. If you don't get the desired results the first time around, then keep trying until you do get the results. Through practice, you will become better at the task at hand and your self-confidence will increase.

2. Use your fear and anxiety as a learning partner. In every anxiety related situation you experience, you can begin to look for and to learn what works, what doesn't work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties. When you do this your fears and anxieties not only become a useful learning tool, but also a helpful guide. Here is an example - you are at work and begin to experience a lot of anxiety, so you decide to take a walk to help you feel better, and it works. The walk eases your stress and refreshes your mind, your body, and your emotions. The next time you begin to feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a walk. This then inspires you and gives you additional confidence that you can and will be able to manage your anxiety the next time it surfaces.

3. Mentally rehearse a positive outcome when facing situations that bring out your fear or anxiety. Sometimes, you can get anxious over a task that you will have to perform in the near future. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind, and having a positive outcome. For example, you have to give a report at the next corporate meeting in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, see yourself addressing the group in your mind. Mentally see your audience being interested and engaged in what you are saying. By rehearsing the event first in your mind, you will feel better prepared to perform when the real time comes. Visualization is a great way to reduce not only your fear, but also the stress of an up coming situation - and it also increases your self-confidence by leaps and bounds.

4. Pray for Divine guidance. Prayer is an incredibly powerful thing, so do don't forget to pray and ask for Divine assistance and strength especially when you are feeling fearful or stressed out about something. As a human being you can only do and handle so much, so roll the overload into the lap of Universal Source. Asking for spiritual guidance can give you additional insights and resources to help you manage your fears, and to increase your self-confidence.

Endeavor to apply the above four tips in your daily life on a regular basis and watch your anxiety and fear disappear! It may feel at times that handling your fear and anxiety is a difficult process, but remember that you and only you can make the decision of whether or not you take a stand and control your fears, or if you will let your fears control you!

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." ~ Frank Herbert

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Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional 
information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More

How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People

One of the many reasons why people lose confidence and power in dealing with people is because they are too overly concerned with what other people think. They feel they won't be liked if they said what was on their mind. What they are really saying is that they are trying to avoid conflict, when the conflict is the exact learning experience they need to provide the growth, knowledge and confidence for dealing with people in the first place.

Conflict management or managing the conflict of ideas and thoughts between two or more people can be an incredible learning experience for everyone involved, so much information is revealed in these intense periods that if we can learn to keep our integrity in tack during these short bursts of emotion, common ground can be quickly found.

However, if your confidence and power in dealing with people is somewhat watery at best, here are three tips to clarify your thinking and get you back on track.

1. What Do You Want Confidence And Power For?

We interact with different people on a daily basis, we need cooperation from these people because we know we cannot do it alone, we expect a certain amount of reciprocal behavior to get to where we want to be, so it would be beneficial to know what our motives are for persuading people over to our way of thinking?

2. What Is Your Attitude Towards Conflict?

True self-confidence is developed from the act of carrying out a successful task that has an element of personal risk or challenge. Confidence is also about disagreeing or saying no without feeling guilty in situations where we have strong opinions, to stand up for oneself so to speak. So if someone violates your space in some way, do you take the courage or confidence to take responsibility for the situation and speak up or do you just ‘let it go’…again?

3. Preparation Is The Key

One of the key secrets to real confident behavior is preparation, look at the words you are habitually using and prepare your speech in advance. Learn to be speak with authority, maybe even take a few singing lessons to develop vocal power. Develop a mental picture of your successful self, speaking confidently with the desired outcome.

Dealing with people effectively is a skill that can be learned and developed over time, at some point, you will have to get started, you will have go up to someone and say your piece, even if you stand their dumb struck and your face turns crimson with embarrassment, the first step has to be taken. If you feel nervous or shaky about doing this, you need to feel the fear and do it anyway, if its on your mind, the time will come when you will have to act, go in, do it with the expectation you are going to get it all wrong, but it is never as bad as you think it is going to be. One thing is for sure, conflict is a learning experience, you will learn more about confidence in one session than a lifetime of reading books or articles on the subject.

Remember, confidence is an attitude, a skill set that is learned and developed through application, a state of mind that can be achieved through deliberate consistent actions. You might be naturally shy or quiet and think real confidence is beyond you, but personal confidence can be one of your greatest assets. Learn to believe in yourself and your abilities, it is not easy, you will only gain power and the mental toughness needed through struggle, there is no short cut. You will only learn and grow through the challenge of getting started.

Make no mistake, to act with deliberate intention and say what needs to be said will require consistent effort on your part, you must rehearse what needs to be said, like a musician performing a great song, they had to rehearse once upon a time. Great speeches or monologues are not 'winged,' there is always great preparation that is goes unseen, which can give you the misconception of 'they were born that way', when this is in fact, far from the truth.

##

Copyright 2012, by Dardarji. All rights reserved. If you would like some additional information on self improvement, meditation, and spirituality go to http://www.transformationalspirituality.com/ to down load free ebooks, mp3's, and other resources. Like us on Facebook!

Read More